i am happy

crazy, huh?

i've had a dream for the last few years, a dream of someone. an invisible presence. an imaginary ideal. a feeling or something i saw when i was younger. an idealized relationship. an imaginary person.

it's fine to have ideals, right? i mean, as long as you recognize that's what they are. ideals that nothing real can approach. a perfect vision that's impossbile in reality, that comprimise corrupts, right?

thank god for being wrong.

there you were, magically. appearing out of crushes and myth and the mundane drama of day to day life. there you are laughing, there you are kissing me. you're 14 again, and so am i. you're looking at my snarl over your shoulder. you are mine.

it's an incredible revelation. the ideal is real. the myth is true. i am not lying to myself.

i'm a beliver.

i am really drunk.