user since
Tue Nov 13 2001 at 03:27:08 (19.3 years ago )
last seen
Wed Sep 24 2003 at 03:30:14 (17.4 years ago )
number of write-ups
3 - View benjaminbradley's writeups (feed)
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0 (Initiate) / 7
mission drive within everything
beauty as emotion
thinking:cognitive science,artificial intelligence,memetics;giving good head to girls;writing(short fiction);people watching
UT@Austin... graduating in may 2002!
flows through me like rain
most recent writeup
Dream Log: June 23, 2001
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This is why I have for the most part, stopped trying to write for E2:
from my Chatterbox window: I've recently become very interested in Lucid Dreaming. It started with Richard Linklater's film Waking Life, and expanded from there. A world of infinite possibilities is open to us and most of us just sleep through it.
Lucid Dreaming reminds us to doubt reality, becuase, like The Matrix or An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge, how would we know?

see my humble homepage @ for more

my dead nodes:

I don't want to be an ant (idea)
In Richard Linklater's film, Waking Life, two characters pass each other on the stairs. It's random, a chance occurrence - ships passing in the night. It happens ever day to all of us. It happens when we're walking to the store, when we walk between classes. When we walk around work.
We see other people in our lives, but we don't look at them. Even if we look at them, we don't talk to them. We're too busy, or we don't want to bother them. We make up reasons why we don't have to acknowledge the existence of other people.

Two characters pass each other on the stairs, but one of them stops. She says hey can we do that again? This may sound crazy, but it's like we're all just ants, with our feelers just bouncing off of each other all the time, never really noticing who's there, just trying to get out of their way. Minding our own business, not really caring about anyone else. I don't want to be an ant.

I don't want to be an ant, she says. I want to share real moments with real people.

Just think what would happen if we recognized that in all those bodies we see every day... there are people.
I thought she was just depressed (idea)
My best friend H. has been clinically depressed for as long as I've known her (several years). She's taken Paxil, Risperdal and Effexor, in addition to several illegal drugs to help make her life easier. It seems like she's always got problems with money or people or school. I used to think she was just depressed. I mean, some people are. They focus on the negative aspects of life, they don't enjoy themselves, they worry about little unimportant things.

But the other day, I realized that life shits on her all the time. The financial aid office has lost her paperwork for this year alone three times! People are mean and nasty to her every week. Credit card companies constantly hound her. Her teachers and classmates are dicks. I don't know if she gives off some sort of 'likes to be shit on' vibe or if she was Hitler or Ed Gein in a past life, but she's definitely got the short end of the stick.
sexual toothpaste
adjective applied to someone who is so sexual, so sensual, so erotic, that simply touching them produces arousal. One might imagine the subject is a human-shaped tube of toothpaste and that by squeezing them, their sexual energy will be liberated from their vessel.

In particular, I have a friend J. who is such a flaming queer that the moment he enters the room, he makes all the straight people bisexual. We have several accounts of such behavior among my friends, including hair-stroking, lisping and dry humping between staunchly heterosexual males.
will expand this node by including accounts of said events