Fortune has a pretty nasty sense of humor, you know that?
Eighteen months ago, I was lonely, desperate for love, and couldn't find a boyfriend to save my life. Then came Lex and Matthew.
Now I'm scared to death at the mere thought of love and relationships, to the point where I no longer even have the desire to seek them. I don't know what the hell I want, if anything.
So out of the woodwork come all of these guys whom I would have dated in a second eighteen months ago. THANK YOU, FORTUNE, BUT YOU'RE A TAD LATE!
It sucks for me, and it sucks for them. It hurts me, and it hurts them. People express an interest in me, and I get the delightful task of telling them, "Nope, sorry, I'm damaged goods, let me just crush that brief hope you had."
Even if I ever do want love again, there will be a long period where I'm far too scared to risk anyone else's feelings by trying to act on that desire. Who the hell knows what I might do?
Fuck it. The only thing to do with this is grind it forcefully into the dust. That, and avoid people.
Sorry for the whining; I needed this. Downvote if you wish.