He had long known about them, studied them, and dreamed about them. Now, at long last, Zorbog was finally going to meet them. After a long and patient process of studying and analyzing, the perfect time and place had been chosen to meet and greet those human beings, those "Terrans," the intelligent species on the planet Earth.
Zorbog and his colleagues had chosen an institution on Earth filled with young adult humans with open minds and a thirst for knowledge, two factors Zorbog found to be perfect for meeting - for the first time - intelligent beings from another planet in their solar system. In the language most popular amoung the Terrans - English - the word for the place was "college." Zorbog, after much study, concluded that it was an institution primarily used to expand their minds and expedite their maturity into fully-adult members of the species. This "college" also included already-mature adults in roles of teaching and guidance - some of the most advanced and intelligent of their species.
Zorbog wanted to be more specific than just landing somewhere in one of these "colleges." As he often was, he wanted to be particular about where exactly in this college they were to land the ship. After even more scrutiny, he decided on one of the structures on the fringe of the campus, a "fraternity house" where young adult humans banded together and shared a special bond. What better place to first meet humanity - a place where they share close relationships with each other, form life-long friendships, and quest for greater knowledge together?
"There," Zorbog said to his pilot as they cleared Earth's upper atmosphere. He pointed to a blip on their nagivation monitor. There it was, the "college" that they had chosen. His pilot, Snozzrag, glided the ship down to the cluster of structures as their sun set on the horizon. As they approached the "fraternity house" Zorbog and Snozzrag noticed that there was some type of gathering at the structure. Large quantities of young humans were moving in and out of it. By Zorbog's count, their numbers were usually beyond the capacity of the structure. Whatever was going on, it must have been of great import for such a large gathering. Perhaps they had found out ahead of time about Zorbog's arrival, which would make them far more intuitive and intelligent than he had ever guessed. This excited Zorbog immensely.
As the ship landed, all the humans at the gathering turned to look at it. Some reacted with awe. Some reacted with fear. Others just seemed to look blankly at the ship, possibly studying it intently.
"Fascinating creatures," Zorbog said to Snozzrag.
"Indeed," Snozzrag agreed.
After their ship extended its landing gear and was settled on the ground, Zorbog opened the main door of the ship. Slowly, as all of their eyes were on him, he strided down the stairs - closer and closer to them he came. As he took each step his body tingled more and more with excitement.
Finally, it was time to speak.
"Greetings citizens of Earth," Zorbog said in their native language. He hoped that he was speaking it correctly. "My name is Zorbog. I come to greet you and extend myself diplomatically to you in hopes that your species and mine can become great friends and interstellar colleagues."
Some of the humans began to shift around, mumbling amongst themselves, far too low for Zorbog's auditory nerves to make out what they were saying.
As Zorbog opened his mouths to speak again, one of the humans - a female - finally said something loud and clear: "Where are you from?!"
Zorbog smiled. Ah, finally some meaningful dialogue! "We are from...Uranus!"
After a few seconds, some of the humans covered their mouths with their hands. They began to make unusual noises and squinted their eyes. Some even began to bend at their midsection.
"What is this?" Zorbog asked Snozzrag in his own language again.
"Zorbog," Snozzrag replied with disgust, "I believe they are laughing at us! They are mocking us!"
"Whatever for?!" Zorbog exclaimed.
"I have no idea, sir," Snozzrag replied.
As the humans continued "laughing," Zorbog fumed with rage. Intelligent indeed!
"Let's go, Snozzrag!" Zorbog commanded him.
"Should we recommend Plan B to the council, then?" Snozzrag asked. "Full scale invasion?"
"You bet your ass!" Zorbog replied.
As the stupid humans began "laughing" so hard that they were rolling around on the ground, Zorbog fired up the ship's antimatter engine. Then, they took off as fast as they could.