I am too damn honest sometimes.

This happened a long time ago, but I thought about it today. I think about it almost every time somebody talks about being on vacation. You'll see why that is in a bit.

In the second grade, I was seven years old, there was a spelling bee. Every kid in the second grade at that elementary school who wanted to participate was in it. I don't recall exactly how the contest went, but basically it came down to me and one other person, a girl named Kim, who was by far the smartest girl in school and quite possibly the smartest student, period. You see, not to toot my own horn or anything, but I have always have been good at spelling and if one ever catches a misspelling in anything I write it is most likely a careless typo.

So, like I've said, it was down to me and Kim. We each went back and forth, correctly spelling several words, heating up the competition. As it went on, I looked around the classroom at the bulletin boards and such wondering how funny it would be if one of the words we had to spell were on that board. Probably the grandest displayed word was " VACATION." It might have been a display of "What I did on my summer vacation" writings or something like that, I don't exactly remember. But I do recall clearly that "VACATION" was up there, across the room, as big as you please.

Sure enough, and I could hardly believe it, guess what the next word was?

"OK, spell 'vacation.'" the teacher said.

I looked at the board again. There it was! All I had to do was look right at it and spell with confidence! But you know what I did? I thought to myself "Well, now, that wouldn't be very fair. I'm going to spell it without looking at it. I know how to spell 'vacation' anyway!"

Then I looked at the teacher, smiled, and...

"Vacation: V-A-C-T-I-O-N! Vacation!"



Yes, that's right folks, I was a dumbass. Not only did I spell the word incorrectly, it was proudly displayed right across the room just for my cheating little eyes. And smarty-pants Kim won the damn spelling bee.

That was the closest I had ever come to winning one, and the closest I've come to winning one since. What a bunch of crap, huh?