I went to a movie with my little brother, Lane. "The Ladies Man." It was pretty good, I'm gonna write a node about it in a minute. Anyway, when I'm driving to the theatre, I'm talking to him, joking around, having a good time. Anyway, I'm distracted, so I accidently get in the wrong lane and have to make a mid-intersection lane change to avoid making a left turn. It was pretty dumb, but nobody got hurt. Little brother laughs for a good minute and a half.

My brother has the worst laugh ever. It's a sort of hideous cackle which slowly turns into high-pitched gasps for breath. It's not something you want to hear. Maybe I'll put an MP3 of it on my website sometime.

So anyway, we get to the movie, and a bunch of his friends are there. We sat with them. When the movie's over, he guilts me into taking some of them home.

"Please, Evan? It's only a few blocks."

I say, sure. Hop in the van.

First thing he does: he tells the story of the Dumb Thing that happened on the way here. Only now, it's much, much worse. There's a car in the lane I'm trying to turn into, I'm going 70, etc.

Soon there are several more cackles filling the air. He starts into another story:

"Oh, that's nothing. This one time, he was taking his driver's test, and- erk!" I swung randomly in the dark van. I hit his neck. He got the message to stop. I got his friends home without any more Dumb Things. We're listening to music, talking, having a good time. I forgot about it. I thought he did. When we finally get home, little brother immediately tells dad about the neck-hitting.

Dad yells at me for a good half hour, then mom comes and yells at me some more. When they ran out of things to say about the dangers of hitting people in the neck ("You could have crushed his trachea!"), they start in on good driving habits. ("You never, EVER, take your hands off the wheel. [TEN O'CLOCK AND TWO O'CLOCK!")

I remembered that dad specifically told Lane not to offer anybody a ride home, and, sensing a way to get the 'rents off my back, I told them that he had me take some friends home. They call me a Tattle-Tale.

I'm thinking of running away from home.