Scene: You're hosting a huge noder bash. The music is pumped up loud- some Brian Eno, thanks to nate. Nearly all of everything's best users are there, and little ol' you are hosting it. P_I waves at you and yells above the din, "Play track number 8! It's amazing!." You make your way over to the tiny sony discman that's connected to your giant speaker set, a last minute replacement for your hi-fi that thefez broke while scratching on your turntable. You look at the LCD display. It reads 3. You make some quick calculations in your head and realize that you must press the Next button a total of five times to fulfil the pendant's request. You reach forward, locate the raised arrow on the plastic case of your discman, and the music stops. The noders look up, demanding an explanation for the break in music, which had been turned up to 11.

A shrill noise fills the air as you tap rapid-fire on the button.


The noders shriek and cover their ears. nate spills his drink, and looks at you with fire in his eyes. He nods to dem bones.

"Can I use your computer for a second?" asks bones.

The next thing you know, your E2 account has been locked, all of your writeups deleted, and you've been reduced to a mere memory in the minds of the noders everywhere.

You get an account with H2G2, and before you host a party for editors #3253568-36568516, you follow these simple directions:

  1. Remove the batteries from the discman.
  2. Hold down the Stop button.
  3. Replace the batteries.
With most models of discpersons I've tried this with, this will keep it from beeping when you press the buttons. As an additional bonus, it no longer will beep while it's paused- aren't you lucky?

Say hi to DNA for me.