Some of you already know how I used to work at that wonderful haven called Wal-Mart. The best customers in the world shop there.

Anyone who enjoys shopping knows that here in the United States the day after Thanksgiving is known as the biggest shopping day of the year. People think they are saving money and getting wonderful deals, but that is another node.

Being a co-manager of the electronics department won me the opportunity to work the opening that morning. We were the only twenty-four hour store in the area, but we had closed for the previous holiday. At about 4 A.M. people had started forming up at the entrance to the store. You see, Wal-Mart has a six hour special they like to call a blitz where certain items throughout the store are "marked down" during that time. (Like I said, that is another node.) Ever seen a stampede of people?

Fighting, tearing, biting, and cross checks with shopping carts.

As the doctor said in The Bridge on the River Kwai: madness!

The electronics department was in the center of the store. It was crowded with so many people I just picked a spot and stood there. A man in a wheelchair came up to me. However he did it must have been an act of God. Anyway he began to ask about some computers we had on sale.

After five to ten minutes of having a good conversation with him I felt a tapping on my shoulder. There was an elderly gentleman (I give him at least that respect.) standing there and he preceded to have a conversation with me:

e.g. (elderly gent): How much are your keyboards?

me: I'm sorry. I was talking with this gentleman here in this wheelchair.

I turn away.

More tapping.

e.g.: How much are your keyboards?

me: I'm sorry, sir. Please wait. I'm talking with this gentleman. If you bring me the item your asking about I can scan it for you and tell you the price.

I had what is called in Wal-Mart speak a 960 or telxon. It's sort of a PDA that links with the store database and let's you perform various inventory functions. It can be easily hacked. (Once again, another node.)

e.g.: Say that again. (A command. Not a question.)

I tell him the same thing.

e.g.: You can kiss my ass! I ain't gotta bring you nuttin'!

The e.g. turns and tries to walk out stumbling into people and cart in the process. I turn back to the man in the wheelchair. Surprisingly, he's still there. He's got a smirk on his face.

Vietnam Vet - a.k.a One Cool Customer: What an arrogant ass! Hey, I'm on the internet committee out at the vet's home. I was just going to buy one computer, but I'll take five.

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