This may be pretty redundant, but part of the problem is that being yourself is a constant work in progress, a never ending stage of changes
. You have some foundations
on which you build everything else, and from which others are doomed to expect some predictability in your actions, thoughts and words. The rest comes out in the act of trying to figure out who you are right now, who you were, and who you do not want to be in the future.
We would know ourselves so much better if we weren't so interested in how we once were, if we all didn't secretly at some point long to go back and see ourselves in the third person. Or to trace the timeline that brought you to where you have ended up.
Being yourself is at best, uncontrived. It's who you turned out to be despite anything that has happened to you or because of everything that has happened to you. There is no formula, no way to compare notes. It's who you end up being without really even becoming aware, which makes the revelation down the road (if you do not particularly like yourself) pretty earth shattering and almost terrifying, since because you don't always know how you got there, you won't always know how to get back.