I am by no means an unattractive person; I have had a girlfriend, I occasionally catch girls checking me out, and i'm not a social recluse at all. I have a job, I go to post-secondary school, and at the core, I am about as average as one can get. However, I am in a bit of a rut, albeit a seemingly large one.

In the most fundamental sense, I am about as harmless and as sensitive a guy as one could get. Altruistic, loyal, honest, open-minded, and humourous are probably the most accurate words to describe me as a person. Thus ends the shameless self-promotion, but it was just for a little background, that's all. Henceforth, I present my puzzle.

I have probably the most terrible luck with women for a person in my situation (male, age 18 - 25). I've had one girlfriend so far, while my peers apparently have an assortment of rabbit's feet, horseshoes, hearts, stars, clovers, and blue moons shoved up their respective asses. Sure, it could be worse - I could be a virgin, but that's not the point. The point is, 9.99999 times out of 10, rejection is my middle name. Even the most "surefire" route for a date is more like a surefire way to lose face; the last five girls i've expressed interest in were purely platonic friends at first, and then I slowly and smoothy eased in the flirtation. Each and every time the same response ensued. "SuperApe, you're a nice guy and I like spending time with you, but i'd like to keep us as just friends."

"FUCK, I knew it all along." SuperApe thinks to himself.

And that is pretty much where any contact between myself and said girl ended. Sure, it might be a perceivably assholish thing to do, but in order to salvage a bit of pride and effort, one must just not bother again and move onward, right?

How else can one pique the interest of the "fairer" sex than by being the exact opposite of the ideal "asshole" man? Why can an a person like myself be completely civil and respectful, make her laugh, show her a good time and fail while the girl goes on to invariably enjoy a complete jerk's company? The only thing that am definitely left with is a re-examination of myself as a determining factor in the faliure. People say that getting rejected is nothing but a "learning experience", that one has nothing to lose, and that it says nothing about the character of the rejected.

I say BS.

Such blind optimism in response to rejection is as a sugar coating; you can sugar coat a piece of shit as much as you like, but in the end, it is still a piece of shit.

I'm starting to think rejection only publicizes one's undesirability to the female half of the human race; the proverbial kick in the gut while down; the pointed finger accompanied by jeers and mocking laughter.

I don't ask women out anymore.

Now when a cute girl looks at me, I sneer and think of my own voice telling her to fuck off. I laugh at myself for thinking maybe she was interested. I deny that I am a desirable person.

So, back to the reason why this node was created in the first place; what do women want? I suppose i've answered my own question already;

Not me.