"Life sucks." Lila said, correctly assessing the general situation of my life. Seeing other people depressed makes me depressed and depression is depressing
I can't bring myself to do work for some reason. I feel much more like just randomly writing, or rather typing nonsense. Here is what I typed in just the past five minutes:
Ego sum asinus. (I am a donkey, in latin
). Sometimes life gets you down but sometimes you get life down and once a man said that nobody is a source of dullness but that man himself and today someone said to me, "Thats strike two" and this man is someone who I count as a friend but I cannot count him as a friend because I cannot count anyone as a friend because friendship
is something I am always worried does not exist and I am then worried that I will one day say Hello my friend and someone will say back to me "I am not your friend." I collide with people quite often in the hallway and it frustrates me to no great end and sometimes I go insane trying to get where i'm going because all these people are in my way which is usually the case in more things than just getting down the hall. It's LIFE my friend. Yes life sometimes gets you down, and sometimes its you who gets life down, although I don't really know what I mean but that except life sucks without saying the old cliche of "Life sucks then you die
." or "life's a bitch" and one day I would like to learn english because people tell me I don't really know it even though I speak the language and ben was saying that I could probably get a 4 on the ap english exam if it was like the ap spanish exam which is pretty bad since I speak english and don't really know when I should use one word or another and sometimes he randomly corrects me when I am speaking and I am not sure weather to thank him since I wish to know english or to complain that he is complaining since I am, in fact, speaking english.
Wasn't that nice and lovely? Sometimes you're just down, and you have to find a way to get back up again, or so i've found. Some people come face to face with themselves every day and don't like what they see, and sometimes I think i'm one of those people.
No car, no girlfriend, no diploma, no job. The complete catastrophe
. Sometimes I would like to call someone on the phone and go over to her house or maybe she would come over to mine and I would be able to hold her and she would be able to hold me and I would be able to live for living and love but unfortunately, she does not exist as of yet. I don't even have god, the wonderful legacy of being the child of a Unitarian
. Such is life. Maybe I should get over it and adopt the old latin, 'Flocci non facio' (I don't give a hoot)
I apologised to my economics teacher today but I don't think she thought I ment it. But of course, necesse est. Which is wrong. It /was/ necessary, it isn't necessary anymore, it being accomplished. Damn this latin.
flocci non facio.
And sometimes we just need a friend or so they say but I have not heard them since they were at music midtown