The idea that at the creation
of the universe
a certain finite
amount of all forms of measurement
throughout the universe
was created, and as one object
grows, another shrinks.
This gives rise to the following solution set:
Problem: You are short.
Cause: You are short because other people are tall.
Solution: Chop off the legs of the people around you making them shorter, and the universe will eventually dole out enough "Height" quality to all other objects throughout it thus causing you to become taller.
N.B.: Works best in heavily populated urban areas.