1.High-tech insect control
- a use for all that military
technology we've got going to waste. Two or more microphones
home in on a buzz
(from a mosquito or other flying insect) and a small automatically aimed gun
fires a tiny
ultra-high pressure puls
e of water at it (like what your dentist uses to clean your teeth). Bring automated air defenses to your
2.Dead fairy catnip toy - imagine the look on your visitor's face when they look at what your cat is playing with, and it's a little
Tinkerbelle-type fairy, with X's over the eyes.
3.Ear muffs that look like huge ears - for Ross Perot fans, everywhere!
4.Apartment Revenge - been bothered by that obnoxious neighbor? Just pop in this CD, crank the volume, and leave the
apartment! Featuring loud arguments, barking dogs, breaking glass, noisy sex, and crying babies! Each noise segment
carefully spaced out to make them think you've finally stopped...
5.Cushioned leg extensions for your bed - keep from banging your toes on the legs, and raise it enough that you're out of the
reach of those icy dog noses that poke you at 5am!
6.Office supplies (tape dispensers, pen holders, etc.) made out of coconuts and sea shells and driftwood - for the people who'd
rather be on an island paradise, but are stuck in the office.
7.Okra Jam - eat a little of this on your toast in the morning, and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day!
8."Magic Fingers" Toilet Seat - surprise your guests! (Sorry, that one just popped into my head)
9.Pager with selectable sounds you don't normally expect, including: frog's "ribbet", giggle, a spring going "boing", duck
quacking, laser gun, rude body noises, Star Trek sound effects, and others! Clips can be sent to pager by service, so you can
select your own set from a large collection. (Also: kitchen timers and alarm clocks that make funny noises.)
10.Stick-on bicycle helmet decorations: wings, spikes, deely-bobs, antennae, flashing lights, halo, cone-head, etc.
11.Gardening gloves that look like giant mole's paws, with attached plastic claws.
12.Shoe covers that look like dinosaur feet - perfect for people who like to go for early morning walks on the beach!
13.Songs for the modern workplace, including ("Aint Got No Mail Attachments", "The Expense Report Blues", "I Got A Fax
From Jesus", "You're The CEO Of My Heart", and "My Girlfriend Is A Gopher, But I Love Her Just The Same")