I couldn’t sleep again last night.

I am sorry I woke you up when I called.

It's just that sometimes when I haven’t talked to you for a few days, a few weeks, I get to thinking - It is a bit twisted I know, and very sad - but when I haven’t heard from you in a while, I start thinking, no, I start believing that you have died and everyone forgot to tell me.

I have images of you in my mind covered with cold blood. Your blood. Your body is twisted and the hood is wrapped right around the tree. Shattered glass sparkles like diamonds and your blood shines like rubies in the headlights of police cars.

I have images of blackened skin and the ashes of the poems you wrote. My eyes water from the smoke that wasn’t there, making it hard to distinguish the red fire truck from the red embers of your house in the red morning light.

I can see your family grieving. They are not thinking about me. My phone number is lost among your things.

I am sorry I woke you up when I called. I just needed affirmation.