An
innocuously titled
ditty by
The Arrogant Worms. The tune is upbeat and cheery, and the lyrics are guaranteed to put a smile on your face.
Billy solves his problems by
calling up his Mom;
Heather solves her problems with
drugs and alcohol;
Daniel solves his problems with a
doctor and the law;
But Malcolm's got his own way and it's better than them all:
Chorus:
Malcolm
solves his problems with a chainsaw;
Malcolm solves his problems
with a chainsaw;
Malcolm solves his problems with a
chainsaw;
And he never has the same problem twice!
Whether it's a
bill or a
cheque arriving late,
Rancid marble cheese or a
steak that's
second rate,
Awful TV programs or a broken
Elvis plate,
Or his
fiancee who dumps him because he's gaining weight,
Chorus
...And he goes:
"AAAHHHHHRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!
...problem solved."