. . . so depressed . . .

For the life of me, I fail to understand why people who should not be trusted are given such explicit trust, and those of us who pride ourselves on hosesty are disregarded and passed over.

He did it again.

I have a feeling that she is with him as I type this - and there is nothing I can do about it. I told her from the first day that she should not talk to him; that it would ruin everything. No one ever listens to me. It certainly did ruin things, and she knows it. She knows it and she doesn't mind one bit. Our relationship was amazing. I have not been so happy for a very long time. She managed to ease my mind such that when I slept I did not grind my teeth - a nasty habit I first started to exhibit when I was 6.

Perhaps the most unfortnate thing is not my personal loss (though that is what I mourn for at the moment), but that she was duped by him. TC is not a good person. While out with some high school friends last night, I was told some very disturbing things about TC. He has been wooing Jennifer with his lies, his facades, his manipulation, and, meanwhile, he has been calling her a "whore," a "slut," "easy," a girl who will "sleep with anyone," . . . ad infinitum nauseum. The evidence of his trash-talking will hopefully be delivered to me on Tuesday of this coming week, but I have the ill feeling that even if I do manage to get it, Jennifer will not care. He has her. He managed to do it again.

My security has been violated.

I hope, with all sincerity, that people like TC are recognized for what they are, so people like me do not have to cry every night over a broken heart. Jennifer, if you ever bother to read my daylogs again, I want you to know that you have hurt me more than I ever remember being hurt over a girl - because I let you in so deep. Moreoever, I hope you discover what Timmy really is before he hurts you as well.

. . . I am so alone . . .

. . . and so scared . . .






Update: As reluctant as I am to do this, if anyone is in the Pittsburgh area, I could use a friend. Thanks to the afforementioned villian above, I have none. I could use a weekly hug, and an occasional shoulder upon which to cry.