My name is Lucifer, First and Foremost of the Four Satanic Princes, Heir to the Throne of Hell, Lord of the Pit. I live in a large mansion in southern California, the base of operations from which I hope to take over the world. My interests include torturing babies, composing plots to assassinate world leaders, overseeing ritualistic orgies, and golfing. My best friend, lieutenant, and closest ally is an elder incubus who masquerades on E2 as Alienof2000. He is currently possessing Jules Kahn, a human worm child in the realms upstate NY. Though the form does not truly do justice to his true might and majesty, we hope it prove be useful in the scheme to enslave mankind.
Though we have only recently reached the second stage of our plan, you will hear about us in the newspaper soon enough. You will scream for your vile mothers as our minions rend your flesh from your bones.
It will be glorious.