NOTE: To follow is summary of plot, delivered in my trademark
witty style. If you don't want the intricacies and vicissitudes of this labyrinthine work revealed to you, don't read. Ok? Ok.
My girlfriend became temporarily
obsessed with this movie and forced me to watch it with her. A brief rundown of what I recall: Ok, see, there's the guys, right? And they're in this
big fucking cube. Like,
really big. Like,
Death Star big. Only bigger. Well, probably not, but it's still pretty big.
Anyway, they're in this cube. And the cube keeps trying to kill them. There's poison gas, slicers, dicers, stompy thingies, the whole nine yards. And it's made up of little, cube-like rooms. Cubes within cubes, get it? Like a fractal! Oh yeah, and there's an elevator. That's important.
It's sorta like Aliens, in that each member of the cast gets killed individually until only the hero and his love interest are left, except Aliens didn't make me want to make a hole in my cerebellum with an electric drill. The cast is varied, too - there's the Lesbian Bitch, the Old Dude, the Retard, the Chick, the Nerd, the White Asshole, and the Black Asshole. You see, here's where the film's mastery becomes most apparent. The white asshole starts out as more of an asshole, because of his devil-may-care attitude and constant references to pornography, whereas the black asshole emerges as the clear leader figure. But there's a twist! Somewhere through the movie, the black asshole goes absolutely psychotic and starts plotting to kill the whitey and rape the nubile young white woman, or something. So the white asshole has to come to her rescue. Guess who dies!
No, not the retard. Sadly.