Mistress Mash

If you like bacon, spam, and drinking massive heaps of alcohol, this is the recipe for you! It tastes better each time you reheat it, much like meatloaf. Known for its special powers for curing hangovers, and its thick, pasty, salty goodness... I bring you Mistress Mash!
Note: Because it fills you up pretty fast, you may want to downsize the portions in the recipe. I like to make a lot so I can reheat it for a quick meal.

1) Crumble bacon into bits.
2) Boil water for the potato flakes. Once you get a rolling boil, throw in the eggs* and stir it a bit.
3) Take it off the burner, add cheese and potato flakes.
4) Stir in bacon bits and diced spam.
*I prefer to stir in the egg after I've added the flakes, but I changed the order around one day and everyone loved it like that. Adding the eggs before the potato makes egg bits. My way makes the mash thicker and eggy.

Voila! Now rest your aching arms, then serve yourself a bowl of some tasty mash.