Not too long ago, it seems, I was hanging out with my friend, Sebastien Pascale, at his house. I was talking to a girl I've been chasing on the phone. She spoke French because of her dad. Sebastien was writing pleasant phrases on paper for me to say to her.

  • Tu es beau.
  • Tu es mon vie.
  • Suce moi, bohtay fatale. Ok Ok.. This one is sexual. It translates to, "Suck me fatal beauty." At the time I didn't know what this meant, but she caught it. Oops. No worries, she didn't mind."
  • Then came the bomber, "Je t'aime, ma biche."

  • I sat there sweating in the pungent silence. Biche... biche... I assumed it was a cognate for bitch, I finally said it. After I got out of the bathroom, I asked Sebastien what it meant.

    He told me it meant "darling" and my heart rate came down from the roof. She liked that.