...and the last time. A few months ago in my tiny apartment in
Pusan, South Korea. I'm in a room with a demon, and this time it's a
She's showing me things, really terrible things. Threatening me.
There is something more indistinct about the impressions she made on me
in my mind, I can remember much more detail about the first two times. I
know that it felt like she was making me imagine a lot of really bad,
disgusting, horrific things, but the only one I can really remember
involved blood. A lot of blood. It was as if she was going for an
overpowering effect and as I type this the only thing that really
sticks out was just seeing this demon-witch-thing in my mind, and a lot of blood
coming from everywhere, it was pouring down the walls of the dream-room.
though I tried to stay calm and have faith that I would be alright.
remember imagining that I was holding on to a small silver crucifix,
which helped somehow, and praying. There seems to be something
essential in that act that is much more important than the details,
which I think in this instance are more or less unconsciously
determined by the context of my early upbringing. If I ever identified
myself as an Irish Catholic, I'd be talking
sociologically rather than theologically. Nowadays I like Hinduism, because it's beautiful and ties in really well with physics. But whatever blows your hair back.
The really nasty part of this attack happened
after I woke up. I was lying on my side facing the wall, paralysed,
feeling that this female demon's head was right next to mine. I could
feel her pressed up against me, her breath against my face and neck, and she was
whispering into my head, into my ear. That was pretty bad,
feeling like she'd followed me out of the dream and was in my room. I
was fighting to move, but I just couldn't for a while. Even though I
knew that if I actually managed to turn around then I would be face to
face with this disgusting, evil thing, I had to struggle. I was
angry as well as afraid. I fought so
hard to move my body, but it was like being held under a grip so strong
that even though the signals are getting through to your muscles, you
can't shift even a millimetre. Eventually she let go. They seem to give up
becomes clear that you aren't going to. Demons 0 tiger cub 3
these things really attacks by demons? Are they just night terrors of a
certain and specific kind? What is it that my ex-girlfriend's father
and I have in common that leads us to these strange experiences that we
share? Why have so many other people all over the world throughout history felt remarkably similar
things? I just want you to wonder for a second how you would make sense
of experiences like these. Would you dismiss it as just a bad dream?
Are you sure?
I'm going to leave you with two very brief conclusions that I have
The first is that while
these things are happening to somebody, there is never any doubt in
that person's mind that they are being attacked by a demon. Some people fight, some people don't, but everybody thinks it's real while it's happening. The next day, in the bright
sunshine, people might feel differently, or not.
The second is
that while it's going on I am absolutely sure that I'm
fighting against a demon. Afterwards, the only sense I can make of it
is that I am fighting demons, but the demons are me.
Thanks for reading.