Hi guys I had a creative urge tonight and I couldn't fulfill it because I didn't go to art school and I can't talk about form, also, compensation is the cornerstone of creativity, and lack of compensation has made my creative instincts "sit" at a "standstill" oh, the irony...

...but then 2 hours ago while i was at an independent coffee shop in inner SE, a vision came to me. His name was Venn (like the diagrams) and he had no use for his travel mug because he decided not to travel, he wanted to just sit at this independent SE coffee shop and talk a little bit about form with me, and so, he got a "for here" cup.

Well, I was really sad to tell him that I didn't know about form because I didn't go to MFA school I only went to a mofo'ing state school and the only things I really know about in this life are 1. Indie coffee shops, 2. Indie music, and 3. Moving to new cities because I hate the Midwestern town I grew up in (Portland is very eclectic and full of art galleries, which I go to a lot because I'm uncomfortable around the poor). Also I'm in the middle of attaining adultivity which I don't understand, evidenced by the fact I put my bra on one boob at a time and sometimes I mess up and have to call the hospital.

Venn became visibly upset that another human had the audacity to be unable to speak on form and he spilt soy milk on the ground in spite of me and then he developed a website by sketching something once, and then he spat on my career and life motivations in the process, calling it "generative feedback."

Well Venn.. I am honored to receive criticism from an educated artist but if I were to draw a diagram using 2 circles to describe you and I, the area we'd intersect would have only one word written: "Coffee..." because in your circle, Venn: a clearly educated Portland artist and, in my circle: a PDX citizen without an artsy degree. There is no middle ground between you and I, only fields of vast disappointments and poor attempts at relating. I feel like I can only dream of the day you will join me in some far distant avant garden of Eden, and we can form opinions on life and the world around us using pure arche writing ala French philosopher, Derrida, and then throw out all of this silly erasure altogether.

In sum -- the title of my autobiography is also, ironically, longer than the content of my autobiography-->

Title: The Function of Your Travel Mug is For Traveling, but I am Glad You Decided to Use a For-Here Cup: A failure of form: Why Settle for Inanimate Penii in a World of Abundant Organic Produce: A Deconstructive question: Forming Opinions Using 6 Senses in an Endless Universe: The Inability of Humans to Truly Express Absolutely Anything: The Pyramid Scheme That is Existing: Why Bridges are Great Photo Ops: Why People Jump From Ironically Beautiful Things: Why We Burn Bridges: Why it's a Good Idea to Get Back in Touch With People Who Give You Reasons to Leave Them Alone: Using a Canoe to Bypass a Burning Bridge Without Getting Burnt.

Content "The 12 step program helped me discern my true self-utterance, being that of: "God grant me the omnipotence to change the things I cannot accept," and so, I sit defeated in the muck of my own mortal nature and impending doom, having dedicated all my time to breathing, watching sun rises only for them to consistently set again, never becoming stuck, still always wanting them to be stuck.

Conclusion: If only I had an MFA degree my well-marketed agendas would be more far reaching & meaningful, now I die penniless and alone, awaiting my fame in 2000 years time, and fondly recollecting of the day an educated artist bestowed upon me their well educated opinion.

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