You messed with your body clock and now you are Sleepless.


After 3 am, formication starts. On normal skin, it's mildly irritating but where there is a cluster of some hair longer than a centimeter, urge to scratch becomes unbearable. Some scalp, beard, side of the mustache impudently curled back to touch the lip and the male curse, the evolutionary compromise to body integrity, the real Achilles' heel: testicles. In a fit of insanity, you might want to rip the house they reside in and rip you would, if those walls didn’t have some cheeky A-delta and C class pain fibers of NOCICEPTIC DOOM.


So, you do the next best thing and fire up the swirly stunted blade machine, get some light to illuminate the operation area and carefully exterminate the fur that's been peacefully growing since the last shave freak-out. Luckily, there is a double whammy in this situation: the electric cutter also scratches and appeases the same bundle of neurons that prevented deballing (actually a word) yourself just a moment ago.


The ideas of trichologic freedom will then spread to other unwanted wildlife reservoirs on your body not unlike the French Revolution. Do follow that impulse to the end of its tracks without guilt or shame barring your way. If this hair removal fit wasn't brought to you by a drug or your own obsessive, neurotic psyche, it is probably transient in nature and the urge will recede after you get enough sleep. Sleep deprivation can lead to other fun stuff like mania, binge eating or mild-to-moderate hallucinations.


After the deed is done, don't glance at tweezers to mop up the remains. Take a pleasantly warm shower, dry off, moisturize, change the bed sheets and pillow cases to experience that “born again” feeling. Do not wait for the sun to rise. Do not expect any productivity. Just lay down, close your eyes and sleep the sleep of the just

Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.