She would slip in and out of my life whenever she wants to. It's as if she knows the time when I am most vulnerable. Her nearness brings me great joy and great fear at the same time. Joy that someone as attractive as her would find someone like me worth sharing her time with. Fear that I am being led again to an old but familiar path. A path I have visited many times before. A path initially filled with excitement, joy, and anticipation, but inevitably turns into frustration, deception, and pain.
And yet, I find it hard to stay away from her. Many times, I have tried doing so, but she has this uncanny way of seeking me out. And when she does find me, I would find myself following her helplessly, like a tamed beast placed under a deep trance.
At times, I wish that she would just keep her distance. Yet, I know that her absence will create a terrible void in my heart; an emptiness that no one else can fill in but her.
In a different place and in a different time, telling her how much I care for her would be easy. Doing so would lift a huge burden off my chest, and I could begin to entertain thoughts of a love pure and tender, shared by two hearts untarnished by worldly doubts.
But we live in the present, where things are not necessarily what they appear to be. And where the choices we make are often influenced, not solely by our present needs, but more by the marks left behind by past experiences.