A song by Benefit from the album B.E.N.E.F.I.T. This tune heavily samples the "World 1-1" music from Super Mario Brothers and is one of the most well known on the album (the other being If I Owned a Midget). A local indy label was offered the opportunity to pick up Benefit. I haven't heard anything so I'm assuming they didn't take it, however Benefit has his own label: Indelibility (http://www.indelibility.com/).

"You borrow my car and then you give it a test."
"What, like the Mario test?"
"Mario? Mario's a fucking psycho."

It's 1986, I'm in the first grade
I'm working really hard to get Mario laid
I gotta save the princess so he can get the pussy
Believe me, Mario will get that ass so fuck Luigi

Mario really wants to get her in bed
So bad that he's bustin up bricks with his head
He just wants sex, so forget the wedding bells
Jumping on little mushroom men and turtle shells

Dropping down green pipes and secret passageways
Making his move to the end where the final castle lays
Eat a magic mushroom, grow a little higher
Eat a white flower and spit balls of fire

All the creatures that attack won't cut Mario slack
Oh shit, hold on I'll be right back

I'm gonna beat the game if it takes me all summer
It's got to be hard to get laid if you're a plumber
That's why I'm going to work extra hard for my man
And get him to the end so he can stop using his hand

Mario doesn't want to get hit, he'll shrink
The princess won't fuck a little kid, I think
So stay firm and attend to your own
And eventually the princess will attend to your bone

(Chorus x2)
Save the princess quick
Because she wants a dick
And if you set her free
You get the pussy

Bowser's trying to get head right now from the princess
But if it's up to me that shit'll stop this instant
Cloud people throwing little spiked animals
Green plants with teeth that attack like cannibals

I've heard nobody's yet run in the princess' oven
And Mario always says "Virgins, I love 'em!"
I hate the koopa troopas so I'm gonna run up
And jump on the back of their shells 'till I get one up

I'm gonna keep playing and I'm never gonna quit
'Cause some kid at school told me you can see the princesses' tits
I wanna beat it before any of my friends do
So I can say I put pussy up on Mario's menu

At the end of each level I jump and get the flag
And say to myself:  Another castle in the bag
I hope Bowser's ready, because he's in for a ride
And Mario's serious when it comes to homicide

The princess is a freak even though she has class
Mario will take a plunger and put it in her ass

I hate the cannons that shoot at you constantly
And I hate platforms that fall out from below me
But it's all worth while, just to see Mario smile
Standing next to the Princess, buck naked profile

That's why it's my crusade to get Mario laid
Super Mario Brothers, best game ever made

(Chorus x2)

   ----- The following addresses had permanent fatal errors -----

   ----- Transcript of session follows -----
<Benefit@indelibility.com>... Deferred: Connection refused by indelibility.com.
Message could not be delivered for 2 days
Message will be deleted from queue

From: Erik Fish
To: Benefit@indelibility.com

Dear Benefit

I am a member of an online community called Everything2. The purpose of
Everything2 is to act as a database that is user created, dynamic, and -
well - includes everything.

To that end, we strive to add to the database the things that we find
helpful, useful, amusing or important. Last year I added "Warp to World
6-9" because I heard it on my local college radio station and thought it
was great.

I understand that it is customary to ask artists permission for "fair use"
citations and since it is the policy of Everything2 make every attempt to
get permission for copyrighted material, I am asking you for permission to
retain the lyrics to this rhyme on the website.

For more information, please visit http://everything2.com/ and

Everything2 is a noncommercial site which exists solely on the basis of
the contributions of its users.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Erik Fish

Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.