She wasn't satisfied. She wanted more. It should have been enough. She told herself
it should have been enough.
This was what she wanted, right? A few good laughs, a little intellectual conversation, the camaraderie of a few
fellow humans from the same trenches.
It was
more than she had hoped for when she started this thing, and they pretty much had all that now. So why was she still looking to push things along?
Why couldn't she be happy where she was? Maybe these past few months had opened her eyes to
possibilities she hadn't dared to consider before. But now they seemed
only slightly out of reach.
And the more she looked at
what was just slightly out of reach, the less satisfied she became. And so the maneuvering would begin, like so many times in the past.
She didn't know if it was even worth it, but it's what's become all but
natural after all these years. No matter where she ended up, there was always a small patch of grass slightly greener
only one step away, forcing her to always be on the move, and never stopping to actually enjoy where she was.
She knew this wasn't good for her. This never-ending journey, often just sending her running around in circles.
The pursuit of happiness was her chasing her own tail. All it did was tire her out.
Yet
it still filled her with hope. Hope that tomorrow would be
a better day than today. A reason to go on. A
reason to move.
What, after all, was the alternative? To stop moving? To become a statue, standing still at the spot where she was,
gazing up at the stars for the rest of eternity? No. Surely
there was better.
Surely she was destined to move, to pursue. Pursue what, she never quite knew, but
to always pursue something. The wild goose was only
beautiful when it was in the distance. Once in her hand, it was no longer a wild goose anymore.
Only a goose.
Throw it aside. "I'm sorry Mr. Goose,
you were great. But not good enough anymore. Maybe
I'll still write you cards on Christmas."
They were moving on now. She was going to force everyone to move on. "Hey, look at this shiny thing over here. Isn't it
much better than the old thing we had? Yeah,
I knew you all would see it my way."
Of course
once they got comfortable, she'd just convince them all to
throw away the new thing too. There was always
something better just around the corner after all.