Time slips through my fingers before I even think to cup them together, to try and hold on, but as an afterthought only, I realize I really don't want to any way. If I were to hold onto anything from my past it would probably leave me in a constant state of teary-eyed hurt. Then again, I have this suspicion that perhaps that's what the future holds as well and so maybe it will just fly by quickly instead of agonizingly slowly as it is at this moment, this moment when I think that this is all a false reality.

I always thought I'd wait for him, forever, and part of me is.. not a big part and not a wise part, not the part that makes any of my decisions, but it's still there. She told me it always will be, I think she's probably right.

Why do I feel so hurt by things I already knew, any way? Why does it penetrate the core of my being to hear when I was perfectly aware.. or was it blissfully unaware with a bit of pretentious thought'y matter.

sore, my eyes
floaty, my soul
hurt, my heart, perhaps my dreams
fading, the thought

"I don't know what's happening and I can't pretend.." - Our Lady Peace

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