This is an example of local government (of Wagga Wagga, New South Wales, Australia, specifically) attempting to be endearing. I won’t mince words - I’m as fond of this world of ours as anyone, but I do have a sense of what will be counter-productive in service of a cause and there are certain levels of debasement I will not descend to. I’d like to say they achieved some success, but I’m rarely that generous with my praise.

So... enjoy!

There's a big problem in the community
I'll tell you what it is, it's salinity.
If you're not sure what it is and what it does
Just pin back your ears and I'll tell you cuz.

Now, salinity, it comes from salt,
And salt's the one thing we have to halt.
If we don't do this we're all at fault,
We've got to halt the salt, halt the salt.

In case you're wondering if this is hunky dory
I better tell you the salinity story.
Salt's been around for millions of years,
It's in our rocks and even our tears.

It sits underground as happy as Larry,
But if it comes to the surface it really is scary.
It's water you see that carries it along.
Water we've put there. Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!

When the land was ruled by the Wiradjuri,
There wasn't any trouble with salinity.
When rain fell down all over this space,
Native grasses and trees held the water in place.

Hardly any soaked down to the water table,
It was held by the roots...which were very able.
Then we came along to build town and farm.
And didn't realise we were all doing harm.

We cleared the land and put in wheat,
And introduced grasses for our stock to eat.
For our towns and cities we cleared more land.
We had a vision of the was grand!

It's a pity that no one kicked up a fuss,
'Cos all this clearing was bad for us.
But you wouldn't believe it, things got worse,
And now we have this salinity curse.

We cleared and built as fast as we were able,
And didn't spare a thought for the water table.
As water went in and went down and round,
The water table came up to meet the ground.

Now water is great at dissolving salt,
We all knew this so it is our fault.
As the water table filled and rose all the way,
The salt came with it to blight our day.

A little bit of salt is OK on lettuce,
But too much in the ground and it's gonna get us.
Salt kills plants and rusts pipes you know.
And it the end costs lots and lots of dough.

It damages houses and eats away roads,
And gives us all financial loads.
It hurts the bush and hurts the city,
The salinity problem is a great big pity.

Down the years our cash registers were clicking,
But all the while a salt time bomb was ticking.
We grew lots of food and made lots of money,
Now salt's near the surface...that ain't funny.

This salt you know can burst our bubble,
We really are in a spot of trouble.
To halt the salt we've got to use less water,
And salt proof the land, for our son and daughter.

Change our gardens, reduce our lawn space,
Plant Aussie plants, get us back in the race.
Trees and grasses will slow the water flow,
Put up a rain water tank...collect free H20.

If we do these things and maybe a few more,
The chances are we can open a new door.
We hold the future in our hoses and hands,
We just have to learn how to love this land.

These lyrics are broadly distributed, for reasons unknown. Copyright is really not an issue. The Wagga Wagga city council is obviously painfully deluded enough to believe that placing this in the public domain will increase awareness of and incite action in regard to rising salinity. Lunatics. Anyway, Kelly is fun penguin.

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