Anyone who's taken a physics course can tell you that physics is complicated. Problems in nuclear physics, quantum mechanics, relativity, and other such fields can take hours to solve. And yet, countless zillions of such situations are resolved in nature every nanosecond. So who or what is performing all these calculations? Computrons, that's what. A recently-discovered lepton (documented by ESR in The Jargon File), the humble computron is the fundamental unit of computation. All computers, including the universe itself, are reliant upon computrons for all calculation. The more powerful the computer, the more computrons it uses.

This discovery heralds the coming of a great ecological crisis. This crisis is potentially more dangerous than global warming, acid rain, and the gravity shortage combined. The problem is that as computers become faster and faster, they consume more and more computrons. Without computrons, the universe cannot perform the all-important calculations necessary to keep things running smoothly. The effects of this disaster have been subtle at first, but they will become worse and worse.

The first effect, which is already happening, is clipping. If you've ever noticed that there seem to be fewer stars in the sky than before, this is why. The farther stars are not drawn anymore. This will only become worse. If nothing is done, you won't see stars at all by 2005. By 2010 most planets will no longer be visible. By 2015, the sun will not be visible either, but will be replaced with a directional light. By 2020, you will not be able to see farther than a city block.

But clipping isn't the only problem. Sooner or later, the resolution will go down. First the world will become blocky and pixelated. Eventually it will drop to 16-bit color, and then 8-bit. Then the frame rate will drop, and all audio will be 8-bit, 11 Khz. All music will be replaced with MIDI.

But it gets even worse: the human brain, a powerful neural network, cannot run without computrons. As the computron reserves run out, humans will become more and more stupid. You have probably already noticed this.


So, you ask, "but Rubyflame, what can I do?" Well, you can do a lot:

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