A clever game to play with family and friends . . .


You are having a dinner party in two days. You are inviting a variety of guests--some you wouldn't normally invite and some you would normally invite anyway. There will be eight of you seated at the table. Draw a diagram of a rectangular table. Cover it with a white table cloth and imagine who you will seat to your immediate left, your immediate right, and directly across the table from you.


Each seat placement reflects the role each person plays in your life. For simplicity's sake we will only deal with the three key seats.

Seat Immediately to Your Left

This person is someone rooted in your past. Very likely you have unfinished business with this person and find yourself continually returning to issues, problems, and arguments that keep resurfacing from the past. Chances are this person will have a very deep emotional connection to you. It need not be a relative, but someone who keeps returning in your life for you to "work" on that issue. An old flame? A best friend? A colleague or an adversary? Whoever this person is, he or she is reminding you either to deal with the issue head on, face it, accept it or move on. Or perhaps you need to mend or repair the bond with this person so that you can move on psychologically or emotionally. Good luck!

Immediately to Your Right

This person is someone who you are rediscovering or have newly added to your life in recent years. Perhaps even a few weeks. This person represents your future or where you would like to be. Think about your personal and professional goals in life. Chances are this person reflects where you want to be professionally or emotionally. Perhaps this is someone who you admire, respect, or love. It could be your boss or a potential love interest--really anyone who helps you move toward your goals and wishes. Whoever this person is, he or she has captured your interest and you secretly want to be like this person. Be careful of placing this person on a pedestal and giving him or her "godlike" qualities. We are all balanced individuals--never forget this--for if you don't you will be terribly disappointed in those people who you have elevated to a position of worship.

Directly Across the Table

This is a tricky person to analyze and possibly falls into the following categories:

1) An Opponent: This could be a person who you disagree with on a variety of issues which are emotionally charged. It could also be an intellectual argument you are having with a colleague, friend, spouse, etc. Whatever the issue, you are being forced to "see eye-to-eye" even though you don't see things in the same light. This is a challenge for you and you must first overcome your own self-doubt and insecurities before stepping into battle. You must also be well-prepared and have a good grasp of the issue before unsheathing your sword. This situation requires cool-headedness and objectivity. Whoever this person is, they are challenging you to better yourself or face issues you are not quite sure about in your life. Be prepared to learn more about yourself and become clearer about where you stand on a variety of issues. Challenges make us stronger.

2) Yourself: This person could represent aspects of yourself you haven't accepted or don't particularly like. You are projecting your anger with yourself onto this person. Is this an irascible coworker knitpicking your work? Chances are you are too self-critical or haven't learned to accept yourself and your fallibility. Is this someone who has an annoying personality or trait? Chances are--you have the same quality. Whoever this person is, he or she is forcing you to look inside yourself and analyze your deepest fears, self-loathing, anger, or disgust. The upside to this, is that it gives you an opportunity to realize how you are sabotaging yourself professionally and personally and it serves as a way for you to rectify the situation. Accepting this person for who he or she is, means accepting yourself and those annoying traits you possess and project onto others. Look in the mirror and smile at what you see.

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