'Blog' is a completely pointless word which means 'website where people can't be bothered to order things in any sort of half-way usable taxonomy, so all the stuff just comes in the order it was posted'. It is short for 'weblog', and the trend started off as a bunch of self-important, out-of-work little bastards decided that the rest of the world might be interested in following the trail of websites they look at throughout the day (when they really ought to be looking for work), and offering 'commentary' along the way. In theory, the idea isn't terrible, but the issue is that bloggers have a ridiculous need to always be read. The 'look at me, look at me' culture has arisen from a few talentless yet inexplicably popular hacks, like Matt Drudge, taking on the world.

There is no such thing as a good blog, for the simple reason that anyone who can't give their website or news page a decent title, and decides to stick the 'blog' label in there, ought to be hung from the tree-tops, drawn on with rusty stencil knives and quartered by cars run on pure, concentrated testosterone.

If you thought blogs were bad, however, you haven't stumbled across journals yet. Journals are what happens when semi-literate angsty teenagers discover the magic of keeping a diary and blogging at the same time, and fail to understand that nobody actually gives a flying fuck about what happens in their sad little lives. The sadness of journal sites is particularly prevalent on certain dating sites, which try to be a hub of everything sweet and lovely and fails miserably because hormone-riddled youngsters really shouldn't be using a site where they can be dumped at the click of a button, and then write about it at great lengths, simultaneously. Whatever happened to keeping a paper journal, and hiding away your crummy attempts at emo poetry in a box in the loft?

One of these sites is OK Cupid. Recently, the site has decided to show some "New Journals By People You Might Like" by people who I have very little in common with. In fact, they are the kind of people I'd instantly want to punch in the nose. I understand it's their web server trying to be intelligent, but its form of intelligence is the kind that clearly parallels with the kid who stops eating dog shit and starts eating gravel. It's progress, but it just ain't fucking worth singing songs about.

The only problem is that many of the blogs that get sprouted about are by uneducated, badly informed, ignorant, 'oh-look-at-me-I'm-so-fucking-special' crybabies that feel that having gone up half a trouser size is a disaster and who can't take what a well-articulated reply to a post without whining about it like a braindead little lard-for-brain cuntface.

It isn't that I don't think they shouldn't have a right to speak their mind. Of course they can. However, if you have a problem with the fact that not everybody is going to stand behind you and pat you on the back and tell you how bloody amazing you are the whole time, then what the copulating twunt in beelzebub's backyard are you doing pouring out your inner sanctum of emotions on a public website? You can't really be that stupid, can you?

I had a couple of episodes with people like that over the last couple of days. Not one, but two (!) were with girls who dress up as back street prostitutes, and then post the pictures on various websites. Now, I would love to know how OK Cupid, in their wildest of insights and eagerness to match me up to lusty members of the opposite sex, decided that I would match well with these mentally deranged silicone victims, but what baffles me even more is the cheek of these slappers to complain in their OkC journal about 'being harassed', 'getting rude messages' and 'guys only wanting them for their bodies'. Wake up and smell the Fluoxetine, Sherlock -- how could this possibly have happened?

Put down the hairbrush and the fake tan, stop making yourself throw up after every meal, and pause for just a quarter of a second to think about how you want to portray yourself in public. Your family, your brothers and sisters, your friends, your colleagues and your future employers are reading this.

A couple of these people even have the audacity not only to whine about their 'issues' in the first place, but then to repeatedly harp on about the people who tell them to get a grip of themselves for the sake of their own dignity, and then finally post about all the 'transgressions' against them in separate posts again. That's three rounds of unnecessary, annoying, pointless bullshit! Seriously, it pisses me off. Not only that, but these people 'being horrible to you' have a point, folks. Pull. Yourself. Together. It's the only advice you need, and whining about finally getting told the truth is going to get you abso-fucking-lutely nowhere.

This is the kind of incessant whining for which I will not stand. Get a private fucking journal already. It isn't that difficult -- LiveJournal will sort you out. They will even let you block out the people who are intelligent enough to not want to waste their lives reading your meaningless, attention-seeking emo verbal diarrhoea.

-30- / HQ07

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