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Scene II. A street


Enter Lucio and two Gentlemen.


LUCIO
If the duke, with the other dukes, come not to composition
with the King of Hungary, why then all the dukes fall upon
the king.

FIRST GENTLEMAN
Heaven grant us its peace, but not the King of Hungary's!

SECOND GENTLEMAN
Amen.

LUCIO
Thou concludest like the sanctimonious pirate that went to sea
with the ten
commandments, but scraped one out of the table.

SECOND GENTLEMAN
Thou shalt not steal?

LUCIO
Ay, that he razed.

FIRST GENTLEMAN
Why, 'twas a commandment to command the captain and all the rest
from their
functions; they put forth to steal. There's not a soldier of us
all that, in
the thanksgiving before meat, do relish the petition well that
prays for
peace.

SECOND GENTLEMAN
I never heard any soldier dislike it.

LUCIO
I believe thee; for I think thou never wast where grace was said.


SECOND GENTLEMAN
No? A dozen times at least.

FIRST GENTLEMAN
What? in metre?

LUCIO
In any proportion or in any language.

FIRST GENTLEMAN
I think, or in any religion.

LUCIO
Ay! why not? Grace is grace, despite of all controversy. As, for
example;--thou
thyself art a wicked villain, despite of all grace.

FIRST GENTLEMAN
Well, there went but a pair of shears between us.

LUCIO
I grant; as there may between the lists and the velvet. Thou art
the list.

FIRST GENTLEMAN
And thou the velvet: thou art good velvet; thou'rt a three-piled
piece, I warrant thee: I had as lief be a list of an English
kersey as be piled, as thou art piled, for a French velvet.
Do I speak feelingly now?

LUCIO
I think thou dost; and, indeed, with most painful feeling of thy
speech. I will, out of thine own confession, learn to begin thy
health; but, whilst I live, forget to drink after thee.

FIRST GENTLEMAN
I think I have done myself wrong; have I not?

SECOND GENTLEMAN
Yes, that thou hast, whether thou art tainted or free.

LUCIO
Behold, behold, where Madam Mitigation comes! I have purchased as
many diseases under her roof as come to--

SECOND GENTLEMAN
To what, I pray?

FIRST GENTLEMAN
Judge.

SECOND GENTLEMAN
To three thousand dollars a year.

FIRST GENTLEMAN
Ay, and more.

LUCIO
A French crown more.

FIRST GENTLEMAN
Thou art always figuring diseases in me, but thou art full of
error; I am sound.

LUCIO
Nay, not, as one would say, healthy; but so sound as things that
are hollow: thy bones are hollow: impiety has made a feast of thee.

Enter BAWD.


FIRST GENTLEMAN
How now! which of your hips has the most profound sciatica?

BAWD
Well, well; there's one yonder arrested and carried to prison was
worth five thousand of you all.

FIRST GENTLEMAN
Who's that, I pray thee?

BAWD
Marry, sir, that's Claudio, Signior Claudio.

FIRST GENTLEMAN
Claudio to prison! 'tis not so.

BAWD
Nay, but I know 'tis so: I saw him arrested; saw him carried
away; and, which is more, within these three days his head to
be chopped off.

LUCIO
But, after all this fooling, I would not have it so. Art thou
sure of this?

BAWD
I am too sure of it: and it is for getting Madam Julietta with
child.

LUCIO
Believe me, this may be: he promised to meet me two hours since,
and he was ever precise in promise-keeping.

SECOND GENTLEMAN
Besides, you know, it draws something near to the speech we had
to such a purpose.

FIRST GENTLEMAN
But most of all agreeing with the proclamation.

LUCIO
Away; let's go learn the truth of it.

Exeunt Lucio and Gentlemen.


BAWD
Thus, what with the war, what with the sweat, what with the
gallows, and what with poverty, I am custom-shrunk.
How now! what's the news with you?

Enter CLOWN.


CLOWN
Yonder man is carried to prison.

BAWD
Well: what has he done?

CLOWN
A woman.

BAWD
But what's his offence?

CLOWN
Groping for trouts in a peculiar river.

BAWD
What! is there a maid with child by him?

CLOWN
No; but there's a woman with maid by him. You have not heard of
the proclamation, have you?

BAWD
What proclamation, man?

CLOWN
All houses in the suburbs of Vienna must be plucked down.

BAWD
And what shall become of those in the city?

CLOWN
They shall stand for seed: they had gone down too, but that a
wise burgher put in for them.

BAWD
But shall all our houses of resort in the suburbs be pulled down?

CLOWN
To the ground, mistress.

BAWD
Why, here's a change indeed in the commonwealth! What shall
become of me?

CLOWN
Come, fear not you; good counsellors lack no clients: though you
change your place you need not change your trade; I'll be your
tapster still.
Courage; there will be pity taken on you: you that have worn your
eyes almost out in the service, you will be considered.

BAWD
What's to do here, Thomas Tapster? Let's withdraw.

CLOWN
Here comes Signior Claudio, led by the provost to prison: and
there's Madam Juliet.

Exeunt.


Prev: Measure for Measure: Act 1, Scene 1
Next: Measure for Measure: Act 1, Scene 3

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