There are three standard Jedi Mind Hack techniques endorsed and sponsored by the Jedi Academy. They are as follows:

  1. Use a buffer overload to get your commands executed.
    • This technique usually works quite well, but is time consuming. Note however that the use of this technique on people using virtual memory may cause a system crash instead of the desired results. User discretion is advised.

    Obi-Wan: then my brother and I landed the biggest trout you"ve ever seen. It was at least 7 ft long and weighed at least --- These are not the droids you're looking for.

    Storm Trooper: zzzzzz...huh!? Uhhh....sure. Move along.

  2. Invoke an obscure hardware interrupt that places the person in debugging mode.
    • Standard all-purpose Jedi Mind Hack technique. Fast and stable, it uses a hand gesture and intonation of voice to invoke a hardware interrupt left in Human v. 1.31 that allows developers to activate the debugger and issue commands directly. Management claims that the bug will be fixed in the new Human v. 1.47, but that project has been in the works for over five hundred years and is not expected anytime soon. The one drawback to this technique is an annoying system echo put into place for actual debugging purposes.

    Obi-Wan: (gestures) These are not the droids you're looking for.

    Storm Trooper: These are not the are not the droids we're looking for. Move along.

  3. Use a trojan horse program to illicitly gain access to the target's system.
  • Time consuming and requires outside resources, but overall a great technique.

Storm Trooper: Gee...(hic) Thanksh for sharin' thoshe shix-pax with me. (hic)

Obi-Wan: No problem. And by the way, these are not the droids you're looking for.

Storm Trooper: They're not? (hic) ok, move'a'long........

Disclaimer: Jedi Mind Hacks don't work on people with strong minds. Hey, not everyone uses only the default security options.

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