WARNING! SPOILERS AHEAD! NOW THAT'S A SPICY MEATBALL!Title:
January 2004Writer: Joe KellyPenciller: Chris CrossInker: Tom NguyenJLA Members: Wonder Woman
, The Martian Manhunter
, Manitou Raven
, Major Disaster
, and Green Lantern
).Guest Stars: Dawn
.Bad Guys: The Steel Fang
and the Joker
.Cameos: Alfred Pennyworth
, and Hippolyta
.So what happens?
Our focus is on Batman and Wonder Woman, as they try to resolve their feelings for each other, stemming from their kiss
all the way back in JLA #74
. Can a man love an Amazon
who dresses like a hooker? Can a woman love a man who likes to wear black latex
So we start out in Gotham City, where Wondy helps Bats take down a new and fairly inept supervillain
named the Steel Fang, a guy who wears a cybernetic
spider-suit. They try to talk about the status or non-status of their relationship
, but are hampered a bit by the fact that supervillains like to make rude catcall
s at superheroes when they talk about their relationships.
After a trip back up to the Watchtower (which is getting another
remodeling job, thanks to superhero architect Green Lantern), Manitou Raven and Dawn declare their undying devotion
to each other, Major Disaster and Faith flirt coyly, and Wondy decides to have a session inside J'onn's "Transconsciousness Articulator
"--the dream machine that Superman took for a ride back in JLA #83
--so she can sort out her true feelings for Batman.
Most of the rest of the comic is a series of dream
sequences where Wonder Woman imagines what life with Batman would be like. In one, she and Bats have been married for years, but she's immortal
, and he's an old man, waiting to die. In another, she becomes a violent, obsessed
, vengeful crimefighter to emulate him. In another, she's a fish out of water
in his world of shallow, high-society rich folks. In another, he's a fish out of water in her world of mythological gods and monsters. In another, the Joker has just killed Bats, and she kills Joker in return. In another, she's helped him escape his dark, grim
attitude, and Gotham City has been transformed into a crime-free, sunlit, optimistic
city, but she and Bruce are unable to have children together.
And in the end, Wondy and Bats decide not to date.Cool Moments!
I've said before how much I enjoy Chris Cross' art, haven't I? The dude's just great with action, his facial expression
s are wonderful, and his version of Wonder Woman is hot, hot, hot
; the dialogue
in this issue is outstanding, and some of the dream sequences are solid winners. Uncool Moments!
It's a bit hard to keep track of all those dream sequence
s, coming and going so fast you can barely register some of them. Cool Quotes!
Batman to Wonder Woman, after defeating the Steel Fang: "Don't you want to have 'The Talk
'? Just to be sure?"
Wonder Woman: "You do."
Batman: "You don't?"
Wonder Woman: "I didn't say that..."
Steel Fang, tied up and dangling from a bridge: "For cryin' out loud, will you two get a room
already? I'm freezing my palpi off up here!"
Batman: "Excuse me."
Wonder Woman: "Be gentle."
Steel Fang, as Bats starts toward him ominously: "You heard me! Load Batboy-Toy into the Invisible Party Plane and-- What is that?!? Don't you come near me with that!!! AAAAAAAAAH!"
Wonder Woman, discussing relationships with Faith: "I've met Aphrodite
. It sort of tarnished the romantic ideal."
Faith: "Oh, so no one, then? I mean... not even Superman
Wonder Woman: "HA!
Oh, I'm sorry... heh... I'm sorry, Faith. No... Superman and I are very, very good friends, and that's all."
Faith: "Heard it before?"
Wonder Woman: "More times than you can imagine."Final Grade:
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