Isle of Dogs is a 2018 movie directed by the out-fucking-standing never-miss all-star Wes Anderson (of Asteroid City {which I haven't seen} and the movie adaptation of Fantastic Mr. Fox {Which I have and absolutely adore}).

If you're feeling up for an ~2 hour movie, just go watch it right fucking now. It's on Disney + (at least in America), and it's best when experienced almost completely blind. It is a hertrending film, and easily understood on the first watch through. Don't even give the rest of this article a read, just do it. Just like Tales From the Gas Station, I promise it'll be worth it- except this even more so.

This is your last chance. I am not exaggerating when I say going in blind on this movie will make your experience a thousand times better.

You're still here? Don't say I didn't tell you so...

This is the trailer. Just in case you wanted to watch it for yourself; I currently can't see it as I've gotta operate on a school chromebook for various reasons. At any time during this review, feel free to just stop and go watch it and especially the movie itself. Hell, you've probably noticed by now that that's seemingly all I want for you to do right now. Because it's genuinely a 10/10 movie. Yes, 10/10. I could go into graphic detail about the actions I somehow haven't given a 10/10, but you're not here for that and besides, watching this movie ain't one of 'em. 

Isle Of Dogs borrows a bit of its style from its stop-motion seeming stylistic predecessor, the aforementioned god-tier movie adaptation of Fantastic Mr. Fox, but also largely innovates in its stylistic choices. One of the most notable aspects is that because it takes place in Japan, unless there are translators, most characters speak their native language. Thankfully, we are spared from having to interpret woofs and ruffs, as all barks from the dogs are translated into English. I went into this thinking it'd make things a lot more confusing, forgetting that Wes Anderson himself is American, and as such would understand the plight of a poor monolingual kid who cheated his way through his Spanish classes. He did it masterfully. All of the parts where we need to understand what is being said are translated for us in some way, shape, or form, and if we don't need to hear it, we don't see it translated. As such, there are plenty of times where you will feel even more in the dark than the people in the movie. It is insane how well-executed this trick is, but there are some other quirks of the movie you may have hangups on.

First of all- ABOUT TWO HOURS!? No movie has any right to be that long, right?

If you're thinking that this movie is gonna drag, then you're probably wrong. Probably. This is one of those special kinds of movies where it's gonna be confusing and it will definitely drag if you aren't paying attention to it actively. I mean, grab some popcorn, sure, but this isn't the type of movie you scroll on your phone through. When you do pay attention to it, however, it's paced brilliantly for all 102 minutes of its runtime. Granted, I only just finished watching it for the first time about 30 minutes ago, but there isn't one bit I would skip through. The movie is seperated into 4 parts-- 5 if you count the prologue. And you're leaning forward, gasping and wide-eyed for every single part. I tried to lay with a blanket over me when I first started the movie, but that idea was quickly dashed to pieces within the first 30 minutes. This piece of downright art will grab your attention like my ex-boyfriend would grab me by the throat. That is to say, to give you two hours of pleasure and not let go the entire time.

Okay, so I lied about the ex-boyfriend thing. But it's still a damn fitting analogy, because I didn't even get up to piss for the length of the movie. Who would want to pause this? Nobody who I want to watch movies with, that's who.

Second of all- What's with this weird ass artstyle?

That's really just Wes Anderson for ya. His movies all have their own unique flair to them, but that's why he's one of the most well-renowned directors this side of the turn of the century. I can't speak to Asteroid City, but others certainly have, and I will NEVER get enough of Fantastic Mr. Fox. Trust me when I say you get used to it, and will even quite like it by the time the movie's over.

Every part of this movie plays its role brilliantly. I would say that the only flaw is that there's one scene where gur qbt naq gur obl tnva gur novyvgl gb fcrnx gb rnpu bgure, ohg guvf vf bayl ersyrpgrq va gur qbt fnlvat, "V pna urne lbh... V pna urne lbh!" naq lbh qba'g ernyyl xabj vs gur obl pna urne gur qbtf abeznyyl orpnhfr bs gur qbt-genafyngbe va uvf rne be jung, be vs vg'f whfg gung bayl UVF qbt pna urne uvz orpnhfr uvf qbt unf gur pbeerfcbaqvat genafyngbe,, but that's literally the only thing that comes to mind that I didn't like about this movie. The rest of it is completely awesome, and if you haven't already gone to watch it, you REALLY SHOULD.

Nugget Rating:

10/10. Flawless fucking masterpiece of a movie. Watch it your youself right now.