Quick! If you're cruising down the road and you see an animal lying in it, apparently dead, do you go right over it or around it? Me, I go around it.

Grandpa used to always say (I think my Mom, too, but anyway) to avoid them because they might damage your tire or something. How so? Could a rib bone stick up and puncture it? A freak thing like that happen? Please!

But I do avoid them, but not for that reason.

It's because I try to avoid making things more dead!

What if it's not dead? What if it's just lying in the road taking a nap? What if they'd just eaten a really big, wet hamburger and all that's just ketchup? What if they were hit by a car but are clinging to life?

Maybe a veterinarian will come driving by, a really super good one, who might be able to bring the animal back to life if the animals' little brains haven't gone too long without oxygen? If they're not brain-damaged too much, maybe with some therapy they can be back up and running into the roads again!

All right! Chances are NONE of that will happen! But you never know! So maybe the animal is dead, has left this mortal coil, gone tits up, bought the farm, kicked the bucket! But maybe if I can avoid making it more dead, it has a better chance of resurrection with a good roll of the ol' D20. Yes, that's right, I'm going there, got a problem with that? Goodness knows, I've sat helplessly during far too many gaming sessions seeing resurrection chances slip away as my dead characters get more and more dead as the battle rages on, with every new dragon breath attack, with every bite those ogres enjoy. -20 hit points. -30. -60. See, I don't want to make these animals have -60 hit points! There could be a roadkill necromancer out there that has a better chance of bringing that smushed squirrel back to life if I don't hit it… if I don't make it deader!

I mean, everybody knows that the roadkill necromancers need something to work with!

See, this is the kind of shit I think about folks! I think about things like this all the time. Take this rare opportunity to look through a window into my really messed up mind. And this time I'll forget the fee!

You know, my friend Phil once, he found a rabbit that had been hit by a car. It was still alive even though it's entrails were spilled out. He shoved them back in and sewed up the rabbit's tummy and it was good as new!

Well, almost. It didn't really move much after that. He put his hunter hat on, so to speak, and ended up skinning it later and putting it in his freezer.

Phil was quite a bit more messed up than me, I should mention. I could tell you Phil stories all night.

Yeah so that's why I avoid making things more dead. Thank you.

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