I get compliments, but they are almost always regarding my mind. Of course, in this format, words are all you have to go on. People read my site or my nodes and give me what I would consider to be the best literary compliments, that what I have said has touched them, affected them, inspired them.

The men in my life may say the same things, or think to themselves those things. They say I am intelligent, articulate, complicated, intriguing. Ideally, I'd like to believe that most women would want men to say this of them, so in one way I feel very lucky. But in another way I feel cursed.

I think about relationships and how I have always had high standards of men I consider. Most guys regard me as a woman they can talk to, around whom they can be themselves. By default, I assume this means that I am not considered a viable romantic option.

People say that they want their SO to be one of their best friends. But I wonder if men really expect their relationships to be simpler than that, to not be as fraught with tension or the ups and downs that a friendship is known to have, or at least, the ones I have.

What leads me to believe this is due to my interaction with men who are taken. They can talk to me in ways that they can't or don't talk to their SO's, which makes me wonder why it is that as you get more intimate with someone, you can tend to not tell her things as much because you are afraid of losing her, your vulnerability makes you afraid. As common as that is, I just can't accept that for myself. I want more.

So I think about what chances I have, being the way I am, of someone falling for me in this way. Would I only frustrate and aggrivate him, would I simply be too much to handle, when all he wants is someone to not have to think around?

    why it is that as you get more intimate with someone, you can tend to not tell her things as much because you are afraid of losing her, your vulnerability makes you afraid.
While I'll certainly grant that it is difficult to reveal so much of yourself to someone you want so badly to impress, I don't think you should give up all hope. There are plenty of guys out there who feel the same way you do.
    ...all (hypothetical SO) wants is someone to not have to think around?

Remember that a relationship is a multifaceted thing. In a good relationship, you connect with your partner on physical, emotional, and intellectual levels. Spending time not thinking with someone is part of the emotional connection. Just because a partner needs this sometimes doesn't mean that's all he wants from you.

So what are you searching for here? At first I thought you were just fishing for a physical compliment. I thought maybe you had heard enough about how smart you were and just wanted someone to tell you how good looking you are. If that was your goal, I can sympathize. It gets old having people tell you how smart and nice you are, when have to constantly listen to your opposite sex friends tell you about the petty problems they face in their own relationships.

Just once I would like to be treated like one of those guy in candy adverts. I want some woman to completely lose her cool when she looks at me, and get so flustered because I'm so handsome. Well, reality check. I ain't got what it takes. The good news is that I think Templeton has that sort of potential. The one small picture she features on her website is a good one.

Templeton, you’re a hottie, and a redhead to boot. I gots me a thing for redheads. If I wasn't already attached and half a continent didn't stretch between us, I would sweep you off your feet. Well, I would do as much sweeping as I'm capable of anyways.

Then again, your wu is a little deeper than this and I don't feel you’re the kind of person who needs to search for compliments. Here's the lowdown. Most men are simply crass idiots. They talk a lot about what they want in a woman, but when they finally get a woman with all of those elusive qualities they desire, they're pissed cause she's too much like their mother. The only relationships I've had that were easy were with friends.

Once the person becomes a lover, you're right, all the sudden you find yourself doing things you normally wouldn't for fear that they might disapprove and leave. For a long time I was the guy all my female friends approached to discuss their relationship problems with. I listened well, and dispensed quality advice. They felt comfortable with me. I was a good friend, and because of that I was not dating material.

Unfortunately I almost always ended up falling for these women that I had become so close to, but I was too much of a friend to ever be considered for a relationship. I empathize, but I don't have any quality advice.

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