I enjoy breathing, but my nose doesn't seem to believe that.

I have a cold. It has just about run its course, however I'm left with a nose that has decided that constant air flow just isn't in the cards.

What's one to do? Well, throughout the day, it gets to the point where I have to make an attempt to blow my nose. I don't like to blow my nose, because I find it uncomfortable and unnatural, but there come times where I need to do it.

Unfortunately, all I have available at my disposal is cheap paper towels.

So I'll periodically get up from my desk, walk over to the office break room, and start blowing and wiping. The paper towel roll is over the water cooler, and the water cooler is next to the OSHA poster. I end up standing there for a good two to three minutes, just blowing, wiping, and reading federal regulations regarding workplace conditions. Thanks to the wonderful texture of these generic paper towels, I start to see blood streaks due to the texture tearing up the base of my nose. No wonder Kleenex sells like hotcakes. I might as well be using sandpaper.

On the bright side, I'm pretty well versed on employee rights, labor laws, and workplace safety.

On the ironic side, after I wrote this node, 'Breathe' by Faith Hill came on. I really wish the universe would stop mocking me.

Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.