I took four months off from noding to regroup myself. I don't know how some people on this thing can belt out good nodes on a regular basis for long periods of time. Towards the end of my noding, I was seriously running out of interesting stuff to say. After forty nine nodes I had completely gone through everything in my head that I had accumulated in twenty two years.

Stop laughing. I don't leave my house as much as I should, OK?

My content was used up. I knew it was time for a vacation when I caught myself lying face down on my blue rug bored, naked, and with the lights off. At 4 am on a Saturday morning I was whispering into those blue carpet fibers, "I wonder if I should node this? Huh."


Now for whatever reason, some people believe in God. Usually they have a very profoundly moving reason for loving God and his son Jesus. That's great, but I can't relate. I'm a contemporary (read: bad) Catholic. I curse a lot and call Jesus 'J-dawg' when I pray at night. I'll tell you why I believe in God. I believe in God because he's the guy in the back of my head that tells me stuff like," Alright there ass. Time to get off the floor, put some boxer briefs on, and get some fresh air. Learn some new shit while you're at it. Go kiss some new girls, drink some new tequila, and start going to evening mass so you can sleep off that Saturday night hangover. Get some new content for this thing you call a life. E2 will be there when you get back. I promise. Smoochies, now get to it."

That's why I love God. In my life, he's the only one that tells me to stop lying naked on my floor and to go do something. Now you might think that I mistake the voice of God for plain old common sense.

Not true. When I was younger, I didn't believe in God or his son Jesus. When I was younger, I also hid in cupboards with a flashlight, eating sticks of butter dipped in instant coffee granules. At no point did that voice kick in to warn me that I was being an idiot. It was only after I started going to Church and praying that I started to hear that voice. And what did the voice say?

"Hey moron. This is God. Stop doing this weird shit or I'll plague you. Smoochies, now get to it."

Ever since that young time I've grown into a comfortable relationship with God. He watches my back and in return, I believe in him and never go to Church with a hangover.

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