Heshers (70s-80s version) are mainly suburban guys with long hair who lift weights in their garages while listening to Deep Purple or Dio's Rainbow or early Journey or any era Foghat. The 90s version favors the mullet and the collected works of Lemmy Kilminster and Dave Mustaine, but both versions have great difficulty achieving facial hair, instead preferring to sport a wispy hint of a moustache or a pair of sideburns which resemble the dirt that didn't come off in the bathtub last night.

Although the etymology of the word "Hesher" is uncertain (a variant called "Hessian" has sprung up, with the origin of the name referring to the traditional Gothic-style lettering of the logos and album covers of many Hesher-identified heavy metal bands,) one thing is positive: Heshers live only to Party, something they are easily able to accomplish even with the cheapest 3.2 beer found at the local supermarket. Heshers have even been known to unwittingly get shitfaced drunk on non-alcoholic beer, so great is their genetic need to Party.

(original source: Tjames, Pigdog Game Warden, PigdogJournal)

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