Yesterday I finally got mad at all the stupid stuff happening. I have lots of people giving me advice, some of which I have asked for, and much of it consists of "Pick your battles. Don't waste your energy fighting. Don't fight when you can't win. Throw in the towel."
I woke up yesterday and thought, but I LIKE to fight. I did tai kwan do and I LOVED sparring. Ok, I did not do full force kick boxing and I am 5 foot 3 and 125 pounds, but hey. I loved sparring. So, screw it. Maybe I should fight.
I put on workout gear and went to a friend's. I went into the woods and found a dead tree. My armour suit massage person has been saying that I should hit something. Dead trees don't mind. It was a quite dead rotted tree, about a foot in diameter, leaning up against two other trees. I took my wooden katana and did practice swings for a bit. My muscles didn't feel too bad. I started hitting the dead tree as hard as I could.
It was more rotten then I realized. A ten foot section broke and part fell over towards me and the rest slid down the trees it was leaning on. I jumped way back. I had told my daughter I was going to go hit some trees and she said, "Just don't knock one down on yourself." Bit close, I'll admit. But very satisfying. I continued to chop at the standing section and it kept dropping sections.... until my katana snapped in half. Left a rather deadly splintery point. Well. Okay, time for something else.
I have a heavy bag in my garage, not currently hanging up. And I've been too sick to hang it. I can't lift the stupid thing high enough. But the friend has a heavy bag. I am out of shape and grumpy. I practiced for a while.
Today my muscles are a bit sore... but they don't have the weird twitchy weak painful feeling that they had in July. I can start building back up. And over the weekend I made a list of people to talk to about the clinic. I am not giving up quietly. I am going to fight.