Great news; Jessica has a job interview this coming Monday. I was sent an email so I called the first number I had been given back, but got voicemail. I tried the second number and a man's voice answered it which seemed strange since it seemed as if his number would be first and the woman's number was second, but whatever. After a very brief conversation I was told I would be receiving a confirmation email, it said that I needed to bring a hard copy of my resume and that business professional attire was preferred so I went to the mall and bought a jacket that I'm not wild about, but will do if I can't find anything else if I decide to go again tomorrow, and I think that I will.

My major accomplishment today was working on food and meal prep which was a smart move if I get an offer. The company is 45 minutes to an hour away so that's less than ideal, on the other hand, I wanted to move closer to my family anyways, and I may not get the job although when I was on the phone advancement opportunities were mentioned almost right away which I thought was a great sign. Regardless of what happens next I'm super excited. I haven't worked full time in quite a while so that will be a change if I do find a forty an hour a week gig, but I am determined to become more financially independent. 

I have a lot more on my mind, but I'm at my mom's and my step-brother keeps interrupting me, the roads are not great, my car is far from fabulous in the snow, so this is short, but hopefully sweet. A friend of mine works at the Apple store, one of the first things I'm going to do with my first couple of paychecks is invest in a new computer. Not having access to one is making things difficult. The Zip Recruiter app works fairly well for most thing although I'm having trouble with references appearing, but there are still jobs that require a regular computer to apply, or so they claim.

Much love,


P.S. Jill is sick, but went to work anyways. If I do get this job, or another one further away from home, I have no idea how getting her to and from school will work, but I'll cross that bridge when I arrive at it.


Had way too many beers last night and stayed up until 3am writing yesterday's log and playing 4 player chess (A node I'm thinking about creating as well)
Felt like a teenager, when I used to stay up, chat on IRC, drunk coding and what not.

I have the house to myself this morning, so I stayed in bed, had a couple of recovery beers and watched youtube. Never thought I'd grow into someone who has beer for breakfast, but here I am, Six beers a day doesn't keep the doctor away. Went for a drive to the bottle-o to get some more beer.
I usually don't listen to radio or music in the car, but found a Nelly CD and figured I'd put it on, once again reminding me of my lawless youth, getting manky <- this could be a word I made up that means very very drunk, and trying to triple the speed limit (and succeeding).

Once again, feeling that this is not a daily log, more of a thought dump.

I'm the kind of person that puts an extra line between sentences when I write emails at work.

I like it like this.

Maybe my attention span has shrunk like everyone else's, though I think I just like to keep things simple and separated.

I find jessicaj's logs hard to read due to large paragraphs, which is strange, because I can read 3 solid pages in a book and not even notice it, but on a PC, everything has to be quick.

Sometimes I feel like Elon Musk, not the good part, the disjointed speech, where he knows what he wants to say, but there's just so much of background knowledge that needs to be provided before you can understand him that he just jumps from somewhat relevant topic to another in order to portray his idea.

This is why I don't think I can write. I write a page and will have 50 different ideas and they all get smooshed together into a nonsensical log like this one.

When I was in art school, I remember seeing a "painting", don't ask me who by, but it was supposed to be a representation of the artist's stream of consciousness, it was a large canvas with mostly writing, but mixed in, were colours, shapes, drawings... whatever the artist was thinking during the process of creating the piece.
I thought, and still think, that it was one of the best examples of "art" I've ever seen (I'm the kind of person who thinks that people who publicly like art are wankers) That weird granny down the road with a garage full of paintings you've never seen and never will is on top of my "artsy appreciation kinda people" pyramid.

But back to the stream of consciousness, I have tried writing it down a long time ago, I remember I used to back from work on a train when I was still at Uni, I'd have my laptop, mostly closed, so people couldn't see what I was typing, and I'd just touch type the shit out of that Toshiba... which reminds me, it's sitting under my desk without a power cord, maybe I can find some of those *.txts.
Even then, I remember thinking that the act of trying to express yourself changes what it is you're trying to express.

You have to limit yourself to the medium, be it paint, pencil, paper, sculpture

Life cannot be limited, it just is, everything has to be exactly how it is, otherwise it would be something else.
Which reminds me of another node.. One cannot make soup from scratch without first creating the Universe

Trying to capture your stream of consciousness is like trying to rip your soul out and stick it on an A4 sheet of paper, reminds me of quantum physics, you cannot have your awareness and express it too.

And that's how it goes, something reminds me of something else, which reminds me of something else, and I end up a mumbling fool.

Even if you walk by, you can always turn around, it's never too late

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