I am at a picnic with my family. The whole extended family, plus a few hangers on. It is an old, unkempt park. There are canals, and holes and long grass. The ground is not flat. We are a big group, and cannot all sit at the one place.
Things start to get a bit tense, so I walk away from the group. And I am looking at the family squabble, and the traffic passing on the main roads that surround the park. Yet somehow, the park seems all peaceful.
Then I fall. Into a hole. It is not overly deep, but I can no longer see or be seen from above ground.
A demon appears. It is huge and dark. It's face obscured by a pale, tattered hood. It is impossible to tell where the rags end and it's wings start. It tells me my god cannot help me now. Nobody can help me. I do not think it is speaking, but I understand its meaning.
I do not want to yield to the demon. I insist on going down fighting. I do not believe that my god has forsaken me. I do not speak, but it understands my meaning.
It advances towards me. It is right, there is no one to help me.
But then, the clouds move from the sun and I realise that the light now occupying some of the hole is my god's love. I move into the light, defiantly.
The demon is mad. It threatens me, and insists that the light is only the natural phenomenon of the sun.
I don't care. I have faith that it is my god, and I stand in the light.
The demon hisses. Its overwhelming size diminishing as the light becomes stronger. The light focusses around me, becoming smaller and brighter. Until I can see nothing of my hole.
I am lifted up. I see my family, but they do not see me.
I head up to the clouds. There are hoards of people walking through the clouds, I am but one of many. They are coming from the streets, and from places unseen.
I think, "Could this be the second coming."
But there weren't any trumpets.
I follow the others. My speed increases as I float along, as we all head along a tunnel. I now have choice over my movements, but I have no information. Something is missing in my understanding of the situation. I travel faster and faster, hoping that the information I seek will be at the end of my journey.
The people travelling with me have dwindled. I realise that more and more have turned away from the general traffic. Coming straight for me is a high speed truck. I evade it.
I think, that is the first traffic heading in the opposite direction. This signals firstly, a sense of danger. And secondly, more concerningly, that there would be no destination to hold the answer.
I keep going. Dodging trains, and trucks and others. I go through blind corners, but there is always enough time and space to evade serious incidents.
Eventually I arrive in an open space. It seems to be a courtyard, surrounded by tall buildings. People mulling around, as in any city.
I think I should ask someone something. But I do not know what it is that I want to know.
I keep going. I head to a secluded tunnel. There is graffiti on the walls. I have slowed down. There are two kids looking forlorn in the passage. I slowed down to talk to them, but they scamper up some stairs.
I keep going. There are some punk kids up ahead. Could it be a gang? I keep going. One throws a knife at me, but it misses. They get scared and run away.
The tunnel ends, and I surface again. It is a retail street. With little shops and eating places: one is a Monopoly-themed cafe. I think, I must remember that for when I open my own establishment.
I see the little boy from the tunnel again. I call to him. He kicks me in the shin, and runs away. It does not hurt.
I start to think that maybe I should go to a church. Maybe they have some information. There are none.
A group of people are sitting in an alcove in the street. They seem approachable, and I am developing questions.
They explain: I am in the Jewish section of Heaven. Nothing has hurt me, because nothing can. There is no pain, no inhibition of freedom or choices. We can do what we like and no one gets hurt.
Of course, it is obvious now, I died when I fell into the hole. I am disappointed that I had tricked myself into believing I had defeated the demon. And that Heaven is nothing more than our world, without pain.
I want only now to find out what it would be like to be cut in half by an axe, and to cut someone else in half. The rabbi gently suggests that I should probably find new friends for that.
I thank them for their kindness and go in search of friends. Axe in hand.
A Monopoly-themed cafe, now that's cool.