Amazon Prime is a treasure trove of weirdness. As opposed to Netflix, which shovels big-moneyed Z-grade schlock from all over the world, Amazon has an absolute panorama of strangeness, from Mondo films to classic television like Rowan and Martin to... well, a hair above YouTube filmmaking.
But not much.
From the fertile mind of one Andrew Shearer, a tail-end Generation X microfilm punk art collective organizer from the college town of Athens, Georgia (the same place R.E.M. came from) comes this interesting short film about a suburban mother who invades a strange castle to complain about a gonzo smut magazine her daughter brought home.
(It might be worth mentioning that Andrew Shearer is a notable feminist in the Athens area, volunteering a lot of time at rape crisis shelters, and working to combat teen pregnancy).
At first she approaches a local fat lesbian gang believing them to have corrupted her daughter, but the chubby punkers explain that the solution to her problems and the answer to all her questions exists in a castle up the road.
Eventually approaching an incongruous creepy castle that suddenly appears in rural Georgia, she enters to be confronted by the eponymous Doctor Humpinstein and his Igor-like womanservant, a very large-breasted and well-upholstered woman who speaks in an ersatz Russian accent. To make a long story short, the uptight housewife agrees to "hear him out" and if she agrees he still deserves prosecution, he'll surrender to her. What follows is a bunch of soft-core stripteasing by very very chubby women with the exception of one slender half-Asian woman wrapped in Saran Wrap. It is extremely softcore, with no nipple or pubic area ever becoming visible, but a woman rides an inflatable banana at one point, so yeah, not really that subtle.
She decides at the end of it she's had enough and stabs Humpinstein, revealing that he's a robot (dig the Ed Wood grade special effects by the way) and it turns out that the woman is the real Humpenstein. They get into a sexy breast fight, smashing each other with their large, obesity assisted chests, and the housewife smashes up the lab with her breasts as well.
Strangely, she then goes home, and throws the magazine back to her daughter, agreeing that the formerly worrying smut is now absolutely okay by her.
This is followed by a gag reel and a short about a woman who has sex with a couch, and then invites various other women, who also have sex with the couch.
It's even weirder than it sounds.
What makes this fun is that the exceedingly chubby cast (with the exception of the aforementioned half-Asian and a lone height/weight proportionate younger woman) is clearly of the punker/Hot Topic/Marilyn Manson/Divine from John Waters movies school of aesthetic, and their zeal in making this sexploitation schlock is genuine. Extra points for them all having roller derby names, the best of which is "Ava Sectomy". Fucking. Bra. Fucking. Vo.
The first thing that came to mind was how much time people in the Athens, Georgia area actually have. It was then mild applause and appreciation for how much fun the cast and crew were having. Then it became obvious that I was really overlooking too much how much of this was really big women (not that there's anything wrong with that) grinding against each other and slapping their breasts together. And then I felt really, really, really, really guilty for continuing to watch this to the bitter end, even though it's Lent.
But not too too guilty apparently because the next one up was their other oeuvre, "Underground Sinema". Wish me luck.