Georgia Representative Dorothy Pelote can only be accurately described as a fervent defender of the people. The Savannah Democrat has brought forth bans on long fingernails for students, and severe penalties for grocery baggers who lick their fingers. In 2002, she informed an awe-inspired nation that she’ll be submitting a bill attempting to outlaw answering the door nude, much to the discontent of the countless nudist colonies hidden away within the recesses of quiet suburbia and its surrounding subdivisions. If ever there was a woman who understood the often unused phrase "The government should do all in its power to outlaw my pet peeves," it’s Pelote. Comments Pelote, "The law allows (a person) to come to the door naked. It just doesn't let him go outside. I don't even want him coming to the door naked."

It’s similar to the bill I’m proposing that places severe felony charges on any Taco Bell employee that adds lettuce to my tacos when I’ve specifically asked them not to. The law currently offers no penalty for such shockingly rude defiance of the customer’s wish, and I want them to pay in the severest way possible. If I can find pass this along with another bill that allows me to chop off hands or other appendages, then I'll be getting everything I want.

Rep. Pelote’s talents, however, don’t end there. In one legislative meeting, she carefully informed the attendees that the spirits of the dead have often visited her, including that of Chandra Levy. Her legislative clout, combined with her budding psychic abilities (which get stronger as she ages, she helpfully explains,) leave Dorothy Pelote as an unstoppable juggernaut for the forces of justice.

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