This is one of a series of nodes dealing with the history of Goons in EVE Online.

First black CEO of Goonfleet*. Darius JOHNSON led the second invasion of Delve, the home region of our mortal enemies Band of Brothers by Goonfleet and its allies at the time AAA (Against All Authorities, an alliance originally formed by Russian anarchists), Pandemic Legion (a bunch of griefers, some of whom had originally been Goonfleet members), to say nothing of dozens of other smaller corps and alliances that BoB had antagonized at one point or another by being insufferable douchebags. This invasion succeeded largely because of social engineering, but also because Darius summoned Goons to burn their bridges in the rich southeastern regions, saddle their space steeds, and seize this opportunity to rape, loot, rape, pillage, rape and burn1 the homeland of the alliance that had made Goons miserable in EVE almost since Goonfleet had formed as a noob corp in Syndicate.

After Delve had fallen, Goons became slack, and Darius became bored with the daily trivia and frustrations of being CEO. He handed the job off to former diplomat Zapawork, who quickly burned out and passed the job to Sheik Karttoon, with the hideous results already described in the Goonfleet node.

It was in this hour of desperation, with Goons running hither and yon like headless chickens, that Darius again rose to the occasion. Reactivating the long-dormant Goonwaffe corp, he summoned the fleeing Goons to the Goonwaffe banner, took charge as CEO with the Mittani acting as eminence grise, and led Goonwaffe from the flaming wreckage of its empire in Delve to its ancestral home in Syndicate.

Syndicate proved to be entirely too close to the vengeful clowns of IT, made up primarily of former BoB members, and our traitorous former buddies in AAA. Goonwaffe aborted its attempt to take space in Pure Blind and gratefully accepted the offer from our French brosefs Tau Ceti Federation to crash on their couch in the ass-end of Deklein, a region far to the north of Syndicate. After a few months in Deklein, and a successful stint of Goon Foreign Legion action against assorted idiots in our old homeland of the southeast, Darius felt the pressure of family life weighing heavily upon him; he was also sick of the petty sniping and endemic trolling by Goons who no longer played EVE but still hung around the Goonfleet forums to shitpost and stay in touch with their e-migos. He therefore turned over the reins of CEO to the Mittani, who inaugurated a new era of benevolent despotism and Communist propaganda memes. But that is a story for another node.

*This is a Goonfleet joke. Darius is actually a short, white, easily enraged IT guy from New Jersey.

1. Goonfleet/waffe members have always been fond of rape, in the metaphorical sense, anyway. Pissing in other peoples' Cheerios is a close second, followed by recruitment scams.

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