A product designed, quite simply, to remove curse words from TV programs.

Promoted on many fundamentalist Christian web sites such as the Childcare Action Project, Curse Free TV is a box which takes an incoming signal from a cable or Satellite TV receiver, parses the closed captioning, and takes action when an objectionable word is found. This is done through a "patent pending process," according to the company's web site (http://www.cursefreetv.com). Offensive words are muted and a substitute word is optionally displayed on-screen. This is intended to supplement, not replace, the V-Chip; while the V-Chip will block an entire program based on its rating, Curse Free TV will only block certain words. Now, Christian parents can ensure that their children will only hear the word of God while watching Def Comedy Jam.

Three settings are permitted: Off, which allows all cursing to pass through uninhibited; Moderate Mode, which allows words like Jesus, Christ, and God through for watching religious programming; and Strict Mode, which filters every mildly and blatantly offensive word. According to Jeannine F. Hunter of the Scripps Howard News Service, more than 100 offensive words and phrases are muted. Earlier versions had problems with names like Dick Van Dyke, translating the actor's name into "Jerk Van Gay." Supposedly this is fixed with current versions, but YMMV.

The device has been endorsed by Pat Robertson, and costs $129.95 with a Christian dictionary chip pre-installed. (Will Jewish and Muslim chips follow?)

The preceding was all true. You can't make this shit up.

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