Bitchin' Camaro is a song by punk rock band The Dead Milkmen on their 1985 masterpiece Big Lizard in My Backyard. The song is three minutes long, the first two of which are an introduction.

The introduction, which takes up most of the song, is a conversation between two people over a quiet instrumental track, detailing plans to "go down to the shore", for some fun underage drinking, and also includes a short parody of The Doors. The conversation then turns to how to get to "the shore", the answer turning out to be a Camaro that was driven up from The Bahamas.

The song then kicks into high gear, as the singer shouts out the misadventures he has had in his Bitchin' Camaro, which mostly consist of a series of hit and runs that he has managed to escape the consequences of, due to his father being the mayor. Also, Tony Orlando & Dawn.

"Bitchin' Camaro" is a monologue followed by a simplistic, even stupid lyric, over simple music. It is nothing that a couple of drunk people couldn't have written at 3 AM. And yet, unlike most things that are funny at 3 AM, "Bitchin' Camaro" is still funny 25 years later, if only for the pure stupid glee with which the misadventure of the man and his Camaro are described.

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