I lost a friendship
the other day.... well, I thought it was a friendship, but apparently it never was, and if it ever was apparently I lost it long ago, and this loss was only just revealed to me. There was, you see, this girl I met on Twitter, a dark-haired English Atheist
collegian, of Geordie descent -- and a graphic artist to boot (another interest we shared). And we had some fruitful exchanges, some philosophical discussions -- what with her being an Dawkins
-quoting Atheist and I being a Pandeist
. As ready as she was to contend against theistic arguments, which we did in tandem a few times, I still spiritedly defended the possibility of a non-theistic Creator. But this was certainly no dealbreaker
. Or at least, not in the beginning. We followed each other and saucily flirted and merrily starred and retweeted each other's most appreciated thoughts. She even made a vid for me (to discuss at length her thoughts on Pandeism) and even posed in the nude in that vid (if only for a brief flash, with hands and hair carefully arranged) as a tease
. So, naturally, I was under the impression that she more-or-less liked me.
But I only ever communicated with her on Twitter (and very rarely, on YouTube), so our conversations were cramped to trading quips of 140 characters. But I guess one day I wrote something which she didn't quite care for. Oh, she never told me, I've no clue of when or what it was, and I'm the last person to pretend that I never utter anything offensive or risque or overly bold. Perhaps it was the similarly flirtatious compliments I paid to other girls; perhaps it was my continued defense of the notion of a Creator. In the end though, I don't know that it was any of these characteristics which forebode ill tidings. What I do know is that over time I heard from her less and less -- though she was for a few long periods altogether absent from Twitter in any event, so this did not seem unusual -- and her responses to my salutations became terse, though not unfriendly. She'd got herself a new boyfriend after all, maybe she didn't want to seem too familiar with a stranger on the Internet.
And then the other day I was tweeting my usual sort of thing and she replied to a tweet -- not one directed at her, I hadn't even thought to communicate with her for the previous few weeks, as little as she'd been around -- but just a general thought I put out there, a ping to sexual freedom. And she wrote back something snarky, a sort of eyeroll of a comment framed in an "oh you would think that, wouldn't you" tone which could as easily be taken as a joke. And then, after I made a few points in my defense, (specifically I pointed out that scientific studies have indicated that the human experience of attractiveness is tied in to the statistical averageness of facial features
) suddenly she unloaded a stunningly hateful barrage -- an uncharacteristically vulgar display against me, against my theological beliefs (which, surely, she'd never offered anything to shake), against my 'tone' -- it's not that I've never been on the receiving end of such a display (well, come to think of it, not quite such a display as that), but that this came from somebody who'd never, ever indicated any feeling toward me other than genuine friendship and mutual respect.
So, I'm not sure whether to mourn a friendship lost, or be glad that the nature of the beast ultimately had out, and the deception
was at an end.But, always there's that twinge, when somebody you've invested some time in liking has put that time to waste
Question of the day:
Are we.... friends?
In auditing news:
-- on page 7 of 27
-- on page 8 of 20
. Actually, even more progress!!
is in the queueueue
. I have plans indeed
down the road as well....