i want to eat the
banana, but it's not at the right kind of ripeness yet. i need it slightly green so that it'd be perfect. it's ok if it's not as green as i'd want it
ideally. i wonder if i could put a condom on a banana and draw on it... it could be a new art form! (the drawing is one thing without the condom and when you put the condom on, it's something else. maybe i could create some awesome illusion thingies... but it's too bad i'm not
artistically talented. if i were, then maybe i'd have the guts to try and sell my
bananacondom on
ebay and hope that some wealthy
drunk moron buys it.
my banana's kind of small... but that's ok. small bananas still taste the same as big bananas, but with MORE FLAVOR and less sweetness in the midsection. yum. the top end of the banana is especially good, unless the top part gets smashed and softy-like if you try too hard and phail at cracking open the banana on the first try.
one day when nobody's home, i'll fry all the bananas in the house. when everybody comes back home, they'll be like, "what's that smell?' and i'll be like, "it's the smell of modified bananas by yours truly" and throw them some banana cakes or whatnot. maybe i'll feed some to my dog or various other animals to see if they die of heart palpitations or an anyeurism,
bananas are weapons of good. if you stab a person in the eye with the stem, their eye will most likely bleed, or better, pop out of the eye socket. if you feel particularly threatened, then scoop out the eyeball with a finger with the aid of your trusty banana, remove the eyeball from its socket, and viciously jab the banana into the person's empty eye socket. hopefully you can get it stuck in there well enough for the person to appear to have a second (or first) penis sticking out of their heads. if your banana happens to be mushy, then it's even better. the banana may leak and the person with the banana stuck in their eye socket will have trouble taking out the remains of the banana lodged into the place of his/her eye. clap giddily and attempt to eat the remains of the banana straight from the person's eye socket with your tongue. it will be a special kind of kiss. the kind that will be unforgettable for you, but terrifying to the person with the banana in their skull.
if you're a guy and you think that you could be gay, peel a FIRM banana, stick as much of it in your mouth as you can, and suck. bananas taste good, and you have no chance of losing your virginity to a banana if it's stuck in your mouth (unless you're one of those ultraflexible people *shudder*). if you enjoy the experience of sucking on a banana, then keep sucking on it; you wouldn't want some good food to go to waste. maybe this sucking experience will make you believe that you are one step closer to being gay. i've never tried this myself, but in my opinion, it's better to try this with a banana than with a pickle.
or maybe it will only tell you whether or not you have a gag reflex.
once you're done sucking happily on your banana, i suggest that you eat the rest of it and
chew thoroughly.